Overcome - A Mental Health Podcast

Faith, Resilience, and Healing: How Dr. Oluwole Babatunde Turned Grief Into Growth

• Travis White | Mental Health Advocate • Episode 44

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In this powerful episode of Overcome – A Mental Health Podcast, host Travis White talks with Dr. Oluwole Babatunde — physician, psychiatrist, and author of Adapt and Advance — about the transformative power of faith, resilience, and healing.

Dr. Babatunde shares his personal story of losing both parents at a young age in Nigeria, finding strength through faith, and transforming grief into purpose. He discusses how his seven-part MAPLAMP framework helps people move from adversity to advancement, combining both science and spirituality to rebuild a life of meaning.

What We Discussed:

  • How faith, resilience, and healing guided Dr. Babatunde through childhood loss
  • His MAPLAMP framework: Meaning-Making, Action, Planning, Learning, Alliance, Mission, and Prayer
  • The intersection of faith and science in mental health recovery
  • Morning habits and affirmations that build mental strength
  • Why storytelling and sharing pain can inspire collective healing
  • How to turn personal adversity into purpose-driven growth

Learn More:

Adapt and Advance by Dr. Wale Babatunde — available now on Amazon

Watch more from Dr. Babatunde on YouTube

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https://overcomepod.com/shop

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Hello and welcome to Overcome, a mental health podcast. I'm your host, Travis White. This is a place for you to share your mental health stories. Every so often someone comes along whose story not only inspires, but transforms how we think about resilience, purpose, and faith. Today's guest is exactly that person. Dr. Wale Barbatunde. He's a physician, uh psychiatrist. Epidemiologist, author, and deeply faithful servant leader whose life journey speaks powerfully to rising through adversity and becoming a beacon for others. Wally, welcome to the show. It's a pleasure to have you on. Thank you so much, Travis. It's wonderful to be on this show. I'm really excited to be here today. And I hope my story can inspire a lot of people. Well Wally, thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you so much, Travis. I'm excited. I think we're going to have a great conversation. am just going to actually turn the time right over to you to get into your story. Thank you so much. It's always wonderful whenever I have the privilege to share my story. And I would say it's all the biggest parts of my stories back when I was seven. And I remember very clearly my brain drive was very young in grade elementary school. And we went to school that morning. In Nigeria, most schools go to school in uniform. And I remember wearing my pink, checked pink uniform to school. And we were picked up from school early, only just to get home to see so many people. And the next thing I knew was like we were in a vehicle driving to our home city where my mom was to be buried. It's... You know, at times I keep wondering now when I think about it. Nobody told me anything. You know, we got home, we got to the barrier side of my mom. And you know, they did a short service for her. For some reason, I just picked Clues here and there. And that was the end of her. We stayed home for like maybe a few days before traveling back to where we were. And life started, life was still okay because my dad was a pharmacist, my mom was a nurse. So that was, and my dad was caring, loving. So he did his best he could. And for the next five years, he tried his best to remarry like one and a half years later to two years. And things were still okay. As far as I knew the five years with only him after the loss of my mom was fine. But the worst happened when I was 13 and six years later, he had to leave. So that was really, really, really the big shocker. And that was the one that was really, really very tough to deal with. It's kind of like hoping us hope to the old world at so many things. I would say all the adverse childhood experiences I had apart from the loss of my mom. Most of it was after the loss of my dad because, you know, things were just never the same again. Life was rough, life was tough. Finances was difficult. Where to live was challenging. You know, it was just tough. With losing your parents at such a young age, how did that shape your understanding of grief and resilience? So losing them so early, like I said, it was rough, it was tough. My understanding of grief and resilience, it's evolved slowly over time. It was not, I wouldn't say like I understood, like I said, it was a bit different at the point of the loss of my dad. Then I was a bit grown. I was in just starting high school. And at that point when I was called again from school. My uncle, my paternal uncle, broke the story, you know, at least it told me what was going on. I was in part with that too young to know what was going on at that time. So my understanding of grief and resilience evolved over time. One thing that I think helped me the most to cope with grieving was the fact that I I would say people were like the worst in terms of, you people did lot of bad things after the loss of both parents that were very traumatic to me. At the same time, on the right side, I would say on one side, so many were very like, I'm use the word for lack of the right word, like the evil, whereas we're so many were like very kind, generous and willing to help. So I would say one of the things that I understood very quickly is that life, you've got to know those who are on your side, those who can help you get through situations and circumstances in life. So I had somewhere like all out to help, somewhere like all outs not to help. So I would say, so my understanding of grief evolved in that direction. And The very difficult times, times when I would cry, times when I would wish my parents could just come back with my teenager mind at that time. But over time, I just realized I've got to find a way to cope. And that's what led to the book, Adapt and Advance, which was recently published. It was my ability to adapt to the situation. and to advance, that is to move forward despite all the difficulties that surrounded me. Yeah, to move on. That's awesome. And it's very inspiring to hear your story and to hear that you were able to push through all this and actually build up that resilience because I feel like as individuals, could always take a, basically take the different choice and go backwards instead of moving forward through everything. Yeah, that was it. Yeah, moving forward. And can you explain like the core framework of your book and how helps people turn adversity into growth? So the core framework of my book, firstly, I had everything in bits and pieces while I was working on the book. And slowly the book also evolved into this framework. I was like, what was the biggest thing that was most helpful for me to get through the situations that I've been through? And the points came together into seven core principles, which I strongly believe is the principle of life and is the principle of adapting, is the principle of advancing to make progress. And the number one, which I think is very important for all of us at every stage, fortunately or unfortunately, we'll all experience challenges and difficult times whether we like it or not. It might not be the loss of a loved one, eventually we lose loved ones, even if they grow old. no matter what at the end of the day. So we all have to deal with grief at one point or the other. And I don't think it's, I wouldn't say one is better than the other. And even if it's not the loss of loved ones, we all have to deal with things, challenges at every stages. It could be divorces for some people, it could be financial problems for some people, it could be unemployment, know, could be loss of anything, you know, we lose things. from time to time. So I think grief is something that is common to all of us. And the earlier we all know the right framework to use the better for us. But the framework in my book is maplam. I use the acronym M-A-P-L-A-M-P. The first standing for meaning making, then A is action, P is planning, L is learning, then the second A is alliance formation, is having a mission statement, and last P. is prayers. I strongly believe that looking back over the last couple years of my life, This seem to be the, I can summarize everything that has worked into this seven framework. And I'll go over each of them briefly. Minimaking means I have a problem, how do I fit this problem into the bigger picture so I don't get stuck in this problem. And it encompasses things like, know, using your problems to be a blessing to other people. Looking at a bigger picture, like when I get through this, what are the other things that will make sense at the end of the day? For me, I can look back to the loss of my parents now and it makes a lot of sense. But mini-making is your ability to make things when you are right in the middle of it. And it's really very difficult at that time. I can say, it's been years, you know, I've navigated the toughest seasons. I've been able to get through school, to medical school, moved from Africa to the United States, you know, so many things. And, you know, married, have my own kids, have my own family. Of course, we still have different challenges now related to that, but overall, we are grateful for where we are. But meaning making is right in the middle of this is not good. How can I make sense of all this? So your ability to see the bigger picture of how this can make sense finally or later. I think that is what meaning making is. It might be your ability to help people even when you are going through the challenges. It might be your attitude towards the challenges. Like I know I can get through this. It might be rough right now, but I'll get through this. And life or be good again, or be better again for me when I get through it. It can be things like, okay, what's the bigger picture of all of this? What will my life look like on the other side if I can't cross this challenging time? So that's meaning making. And all of us need it at different levels for every big thing that we are going through for us not to get stuck in that thing. A is action. you must always take action to move forward. I strongly believe no matter our intentions, how good they are, if we don't back things up with action, that's the only way we can really move forward out of whatever we are going through. So I would say action could be different for different people. For me, at the point I had to study very hard. I still do, but you know, I have to take that action to make sure like I decided I wouldn't let all of this define me and stop me from being the best that I'm meant to be. P is planning, you know, I had to keep planning, had to be very strategic about every step I make, where I go, who I live with at some point when I was still much younger. And this is where I am, this is where I want to go, this is where I want to be. How do I move from A to B, considering the situation I am right now? So. no matter what it is. is learning. I always encourage people to read books and I still do that. So I dedicate some chapters for that. I think the age of 21, I've tried to read one book every week. Most times I listen, driving to work and prove in a week for me seven hours. So it's enough for one or two books listening. So I learned a lot from people who have succeeded. And that's why my book in every chapter, I talk about somebody who is like a succeeded using that principle. talked about how I use the principle for myself. So learning, I encourage everybody to do that. And I do that even till now. One of the things that gets me going, despite the newer life challenges I have now is learning. Somebody's been through this. This is what they did, this is how they did it. It will not work exactly for me, but I can learn something that I can use. And then Alliance for Mission, you can do live alone. Like I told you at the beginning of all of this that one of the very then I realized very quickly like some people were really all out to help. Some people were really all out not to help. So we need to realize that we need the help of people who are all out to help. And maybe those who are even all out not to help too, need their help because at times some of those push or pull or whatever they do to us to frustrate us might actually also be part of the big picture. push us towards the direction that will help us to succeed in life eventually. yeah, I believe that's my own way of making meaning from that. that's for the mission statement. I believe everybody should have a mission statement. It could be something simple like to be a good father or to be a good husband, whatever it is. For me, it's a little bit, you know, it does evolve over time and I have something I say right now to myself every day. is to fulfill God's purpose and be the best version of myself by moving from one level of success to another level of success and value and to contribute to the life of those God has placed on my path. So I say all of that to just let people know everybody should have a mission statement that will enhance and keep them moving forward every single. And the last one is prayer, which is P. Prayer tells us like there is something, a higher power believing in higher power. ah For those who maybe believe in God or even if you don't, I strongly believe that there are some spiritual principles that all of us can use one way or the other that can enhance us going through silence, meditation, and stuff like that, that can help us get through difficult situations in life. I love it. There's so much to take from that. uh there's something that you've mentioned a few times that I really like that I want to emphasize on. that comes with your piece of alliance. I love how you're saying that you basically need to find people to be in your corner to help you push through life and help guide you in the right direction. I feel like that's... really important thing. And then I do have a question though. So you're you're a man of faith and also from you have quite the extensive amount of like degrees and you're a doctor and all this. So being a man of science and faith do they ever clash? Like does or do they reinforce each other? I strongly believe they reinforce each other. Some people might differ on this, but I strongly believe that faith is like a bridge that connects and makes everything make sense at the end of the day. They don't replace each other, but they enhance each other. And there's a Bible verse that says, show me your faith without your action. And I will show you my own faith by my action. So, though you are a person of faith, I'm a person of faith, I believe in God, I believe in helps, I believe in prayers, at the same time, I believe there's, God was very clear telling us that we should be people of action. And there's specific actions we need to take. And, you know, we don't need to think so far, just look at, look around us. You know, people who are not necessarily people of faith succeed, you know. God reigns on the righteous and on the unrighteous. faith helps us to connect. I've seen, for example, in my psychiatric practice right now, one thing I've noticed is those who have faith or believe in something higher than them, they tend to do better with some specific disorders, like depression, for example. Most people with depression tend to get into that because of one stress or the other. Psychiatric illnesses generally, most times, there's always one thing that leads to one thing that leads to one thing. Right, might be biologic predisposition, but something would trigger it. could be an example, be losing a job, losing money. losing their spouse, whatever it is, losing a loved one, something will trigger it most of the time. And I realized that those who are people of faith, at times, or most times, find it relatively easier to manage, to manage that challenge better than those who are not. And those who believe in a higher power. So if faith could enhance their health, to enhance their healing, mental health healing, one way or the other. But it's not a substitute for medication if you do need it. And I always saw God gave us brain so we can give him rest. So everything should not be subjected to prayers. There are certain things that we just need to think through and find a solution. The same way, know, doctors, pharmacists, innovators over the years, have used their brain to come up with these medications that can be helpful for us. So we need to also maximize that. So everything should not be pray, pray, pray. While you are praying on one hand, you know, you are also working on and using the best of science and knowledge that we have on the other. So I would say faith and science should enhance each other. They are not like backing each other. They should actually help everyone to get the best outcome from life. Really cool, I'm a man of God as well, so this is all really fascinating to me to hear somebody else's perspective on how everything of connects and works together. I actually have an acronym with the word faith that I kind of go off of. I'll recite it really quick without going into too much detail. F is for foundation, build a foundation. upon higher power. Whether, you know, that's the universe or God or whatever you believe in. A is for attitude. You need to have the right attitude to get through life. I is for integrity. T is for trust. You need to trust in yourself and trust in others. And H is for humility. Just go through life being humble. That's great. I like that. Love it. Yeah. I'm writing it down and, you know, just seeing how it fits also into my framework. Yeah, that's something that I've been toying with a little bit here and there. Yeah. but it's, it's, I've still coming up with like kind of deep diving into what everything else mean, like in a, every word means in the acronym, like in a deeper, from a deeper side of things, but. So another question for you. So someone who feels like their pain has no purpose. How, what advice would you give to that person? I would say, first of all, pain can really be difficult when we especially when we are going through it. And it can be so hard for us to see any purpose in certain things that happen. no, my say, why does something like this ever happen? What can any good thing ever come out of this? I would say for such a person, need to take a step back. Understand that. The place to begin for such a person is... One, you've got to reach out inside of you to pull out the solutions. And what I mean by that is when people are going through very tough situations, you you get encouragement from friends and family to be all right, to be well, or it is well, and stuff like that. And some of those things might look completely artificial or impossible or unhelpful. for you at that time. So you've got to like tell yourself, I'm going to find meaning through this. And one way, like I said, is who has been through this before or something close to this. I know, thank God we have Google nowadays. know, it's easy for us if you like type into Google, give me an example of somebody. uh who lost his mom at seven and his father at 13 and was able to navigate this problem and became successful. It's a big pull-up names for you. I know. And at times I just ask the LGBT tell me somebody or a book that addresses XYZ. Give me top seven books. And to bring me the top seven books, analyze it for me, which one is best for these. And it will give me all the analysis. And that's how I select books to read. So it's important for such a person to understand that you can recognize that no matter what you're going through, no matter what I'm going through, the secrets of people is in their stories. the stories that they tell. Like I'm telling my own story right now. There are so many people that have stories to tell who have been able to navigate maybe not exactly the same, but relatively similar situations and have been able to navigate it successfully. So I would say to that person, even though you don't see any hope, try to get to know a few people like that. If they've written books, get their books. And if it's not books, just Google about them and read how did they navigate it? What was the way out? How were they now and stuff like that? So that will give you perspective to know that although my case is different and nobody has been through exactly what I'm going through, but I can learn from people. And that's the that's the motivation, for example, for me writing my book. I understand that writing it can help a lot of people who might be going through similar situations. And that is not just about losing my parents. There are so many other stories I talked about which could be encouraged when they read the book. And they can see from the book that, this is doable. This is doable. You can overcome this. You can get through this. So I would say to such a person not to lose hope. and to let them know there's hope, no matter how bad situations are, no matter how difficult things are. And I've just given an example of one way. Another way is maybe talk to a therapist who is licensed or who is a professional at doing that. And of course, there are some other things they might be able to get you through that. So there are many ways, but for me, for my own unique, what has worked best for me over the years. is learning from stories and other people's examples. And that always tells me that if this person goes through this, I can get through it. I love it. And I am right there with you. I totally agree sharing stories. And from my experience, I'm learning that everyone has a story. Whether they're wanting to share it or not, it's a different story, but everyone has a story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you a lot, a good number are really willing to share it. So it's good for us to make sure that we are making the best of people that are sharing their stories. And I'm glad to know there are so many books, maybe even too many that we can learn. Yeah, that we can always learn from. And you can narrow down based on your faith. You can narrow down based on what you believe in. You can narrow down based on, you know, so many things and just get it, read it, listen to the books and definitely it's possible to make it and to succeed. And when you were writing your book, did it bring up old wounds or did it actually help you heal? Definitely brought up old wounds. Yeah, and it was very emotional for me to remember some things. But it was also healing. So it was both. It brought up old wounds, but at the same time, was healing. because for me, meaning making is the right attitude toward the challenge, which I've had over the years, and I wouldn't let this define me in a negative way. I wouldn't let it be that The reason I didn't succeed in life was because I lost my parents at an early age. So my attitude towards it, towards the problems I have encountered and even the newer problems I encounter, I always have a good attitude towards them. Another one is I want my story to be a blessing to people. And I talked about Victor Frankl in the beginning chapters on that meaning making. He's one of the Jews that were in the concentration camp. lost family members there, life was hard, a lot of people died there. One of the things he said was those who got out of the camp, one of the things he noticed was most of them were people that had a mind to help other people. Even when they were there in the concentration camp and life was hard, people that were all out to help other people, to encourage other people, they tended to have a better outcome than those who give up completely. And so part of meaning making is right attitude towards the problem. Part of meaning making is wanting the story, wanting to bless people with your story and using your story. It could be your family members, your friends, whoever you think your story can be a blessing to. Not everybody would necessarily write a book, but you can touch one person. You can share your story with one person, two persons, people that will be encouraged by it. So for me, writing the book was helping me to achieve that. So it was very healing in that direction that at least somebody will read this story will be blessed by it. And currently I have about 171 reviews on Amazon and Goodreads and people who have read the book, have been blessed by the book. At times when I read the reviews, it moved me to tears that people have read it and they've been blessed by it. And which was all I wanted to achieve by writing it. So the process was though painful to remember and to bring old memories to the surface, at the same time it healed because I was able to see how that story would be a blessing to other people. That's really, really cool. And I can only imagine reading those comments and seeing how you've blessed somebody's life by telling your story. Thank you so much for saying that, We I'm always the type of person that thinks like we need more people to stand up and share their stories. Just to enable those people who may feel lonely or feel like you know what you kind of touch base on this a little bit ago. That. There is hope at the end of the tunnel. You're not the only one going through something. There's there's other people out there. You know the stories may vary a little bit, but there's other people out there. They have similar stories. Yeah, I agree with you. You I like the way you put it, the fact that you understand that you are not the only one going through similar things. Of course, you know, everybody's unique. Every program is unique. But other people are going through similar situations. It's kind of is healing and it's helpful for you to know that. And it's kind of that understanding alone is therapeutic, is therapy. that I'm not the only one going through this. And you will almost always find somebody who's gone through something similar and who had a good outcome, almost always. Of course, you'll find those who bad outcomes too. But it's now your decision to learn from those who have good outcomes. Like I told you just about Victor Franco right now. I really enjoyed reading his book, Man Search for Meaning. I've learned from it some of the things it's talked about and used it in my life. So it's left for you to find those who have good outcomes, learn what they did, and put the right actions. Of course, things don't happen by chance. Left to chance, many things will go bad. So we're not saying it's going to be easy. But what I always tell people is it might be difficult, it might be challenging, but it's doable. can be done because we have examples of people who have done it. Very well said. And I like, I want to point out what you said there. It may be difficult. I think of my own like mental health. I've struggled with anxiety and depression for years. And it seems like with just in the last year, I've got myself to a better place where I'm doing a lot better because I took that time to work on myself. and really work on myself, like focus on myself. And without taking that time, I would not be where I am today. And thank you for sharing your story. That's very encouraging that you know despite The diagnosis and all you've been through you can see put all of this together I know to be a blessing to other people and thanks for sharing Let's go back to somebody that may be suffering with loss or like loss of a parent or loss of a job, whatever life challenge it is they may be facing. What mental habits do you believe they could build up to help them push through? So mental habits, I would say number one is... Take care of yourself. We've got to care for ourselves. And that could be different things to different people. But there are some habits I do every morning that have been very helpful to me. And I will share some of them that I learned from a book that I read. As every morning, one of the first things I do is I use, I got this from the book, the miracle morning and uses the acronym SAVERS, S-A-V-E-R-S. And one way or the other, they also play into mental habits. So every morning I make sure I have a period of meditation. For me, there are many things under silence, but for me, meditation resonates the best. And as a Christian, I focus on one Bible verse and I take deep breath. It doesn't have to be long. For my morning routines, like an average of five minutes each, and all of them comes to about one hour, 15 minutes every morning. So average about five minutes each. I make sure I have meditation, take deep breaths, focus on one Bible verse, focus on the success of my day. So that's number one thing I do. Another one is affirmations. Affirmations which I back up with action. Because it's not just enough to say you must believe in it. It's not just enough to believe in it. You must back it up with action. So for me, affirmation, I tell myself every morning there are 15 things I say I'm bold, brilliant, caring, dedicated, excellent, favored, fruitful, great, and somehow the rich, successful, and young looking, till the old age of 90 years old. I say that to myself every single day when I wake. And it evolved over time. You don't have to use mine. You find what works for you. Even if it's just one, you choose two or three or four or five. The man is 15. I say it to myself every day. And it evolved over time. Because my parents died young, I love life. And I've decided to live long, at least 90 years old. And that's why it's part of my own affirmation. And I do everything possible to make sure I live a healthy life and stuff like that. So it's not just work. They are what I back up in action. Affirmations. So for our mental health, you need to say things. If you are struggling, for example, with depression, you might need to tell yourself like, I'm overcoming depression or whatever it is. you've got to find what is unique for you. So I would say for mental health, say things to yourself that helps you to overcome whatever you're struggling with. So. Silence, number one, which for me is meditation. Affirmation, I'll just give you an example of what I say. Visualization is another one. I do that every morning. Like, I look at my calendar. I have this sticky notes with just like eight lines or seven lines. I write out the things I want to achieve every day. Like, bring the big things on my calendar out. And I visualize them successful before I even step out of the day. And then brings us to exercise like I do push-ups every morning, about 20, not a lot. Or either push-up, at times I do plank, or whatever, I alternate them. And I make sure every day I do 10,000 steps. So exercise is something that is very, very helpful. For example, it's hard to be depressed if you are really exercising. I know they have very, very severe depression, like people don't even want to get out of bed or do anything, you know, which might need medications and things to get. But for most people that have mild, moderate exercise alone can almost get you out of, get you snapped out, out of it, depending on the level. So exercise is very important uh because when you keep it moving, kind of, your, even when your body does not feel like, your body and your mind tends to catch up with the movement. So that's something I will encourage for our mental health. Save us. The next one will be reading. I've talked about reading. So reading is very important. If it's just a page, you can read every day of a book that works for you. I always recommend one book every month. I know my one every week might be a little bit excessive for a of people, but one every month, I think is a good number for most people. You can find books. There's a book on depression I've read in my library. All other books, whatever interests you, get a book and read. And the last one is S, which is scribing, which is writing, scribing and writing. I write two full pages every morning. The first quarter is thanking God. I write something I'm grateful for. When you are grateful for something, your mindset, the mindset of scarcity goes away if it is a habit you are used to doing because then your mind automatically believes things are working and things will continue to work. So thanksgiving, I read the Bible, I write one Bible verse and know thanksgiving also from the Bible verse. don't do to do when I pray I thank God even in advance for the things I'm expecting and then I have the third part of the two pages where I write something from the book I read. And the last one is something I hear from, I listen to like a sermon every morning for a few minutes, maybe five minutes. And I write what I learned from it and it can help me through all of that. Just I do all of that within the fourth one, however, each day and get into the shower and I'm ready to kill the day. So I think. I think that will help our mental health a lot to have a routine. So we just don't wake up and get into the day. You set the tone for your day. Not that everything is okay, of course, not that you don't have challenges, not that you don't have problems, but you wake up with a mindset of solutions and that you can do it. I love it. Those are all great habits. think that all of us can build up. And I think the key word there being habit, because it takes some time to get used to doing some of these things. I've learned that from experience. And it seems like if I miss one day of doing something, I'm really big on affirmations for myself. And if I miss one day of like doing that, it's really easy to fall back to where I was before. Yeah, it's okay to miss a day. The one thing I read from some of the books is it's okay to miss a day, but don't miss two. So don't miss it today, you know, try and catch up tomorrow. Yeah, like for the example of 10,000 steps, I use my phone to monitor that, you know, this year, I think I've missed it only two days and this is July, you know, out of like 180 days. So it's okay to miss. Yeah, there are days I just can't help it, but you know, Yeah. uh today, I make sure I catch up tomorrow. you and you you decided all these things yourself. So if we don't catch it up tomorrow, you know, catch up next tomorrow. And maybe if you are unable to, maybe you need to really sit down and redefine it or something, you know, just find a productive way of moving forward. Yeah. Without letting that be another problem. Yeah, just in the end, basically make sure you're holding yourself accountable for hitting these marks. Yeah. So looking back, knowing what you know now, what would you say to your younger self as you were going through these moments of loss? I know what I know now. I will tell my younger self that... It's... you can do it. You can do it. And um... Don't get, like I struggled a little bit too with some depressive symptoms. diagnosed or never took my medications. But I believe some of the things I told you I was doing just helped me through it. It was kind of like self-therapy kind of thing. Like reading books and all of that were just helpful. But there were times when there were days I would. I will lock myself in the room and I will cry and I will like feel sad. I feel bad. I like, you know, I wished my parents could come back, you know, looking back now and they cannot come back. So maybe what I can tell my younger self is don't stress it too much. It's difficult, it will be difficult, but enjoy every bit of. the season you are at every time. Seasons change and so also our difficulties change. Like somebody says, new levels, new devils. Even when you think you have achieved something, for me I've had a lot of successes, but at the same time at every cross, at every bridge, at every stage of my life, there are new challenges too. that have to deal with. There are some I'm dealing with right now that is not related to the loss of my parents. So at every stage of life, there will be challenges, but I don't stress it. Of course, that doesn't mean you should deny what you are going through, but you should realistically look at the situation, but at the same time understand that with all that I know and with the help of God, I can get through this. So take it one day at a time, wake up, your morning routines. That's I'm talking for myself now. Hit the ground running, putting your best at everything you do, your job, the book I'm writing for me, for whatever it is I'm doing. Pray, do the best I can and go to bed, sleep well. One prayer I pray every morning, part of my affirmations I say is, I learned it from Miles Monroe of Blessed Memory. He said the graveyard, the graveyard is like the richest place on earth because a lot of people die without fulfilling their purpose. They take what God has put into them and they take it to the grave. He always says and encourage us to die empty, meaning everything God has put in you, pour it out completely. So, but I I have taken it a step further. I don't just want to die empty. I want to go to bed empty every night. Meaning every single day. I want to go to bed having known I've done the best possible I can do for that day. And everything I believe that God has placed in me to bless my world. I have poured it out as much as possible. I want to sleep with peace. So I would say to my younger self. I would take that advice much earlier and, you know, be the best I can at every stage, not wait for when things are okay completely, because they might never really be okay completely, but just make the best of every day and go to bed empty at night. absolutely love it. In gear, that is for sure. We never run out of challenges. It's like one ends and the next one comes. Yeah, agreed. And it's like you mentioned, it's building up those mental habits to change your mindset to be able to overcome them. Yes, our mindset needs to be strong at all times. Absolutely agree. I have basically one question left and then two follow-ups. So this is a question that I ask everybody that comes on the to the show. Pretty generalized question, but I like to hear the responses that I get. What would you say is the biggest stigma when it comes to mental health? Hmm. I think my understanding of the biggest stigma for mental health is, one, people There's a stigma for providers. There's the stigma for patients. And there's a stigma for mental health generally. And it's not just limited to, I've lived in two countries. I've lived in Nigeria, I've lived in the US. It's everywhere. Most of the other sicknesses that is not mental health, physical illnesses like high blood pressure, high blood sugar and stuff like diabetes, they don't tend to affect the brain or the mind. It's mental health affects the brain, it affects the mind. So when your mind or your brain is at its best, it's easy to deal with other things. But if the problem is with the brain, the mind. it almost becomes impossible, especially for some illnesses like let's pick schizophrenia or something that affects the mind a lot. It becomes difficult. You are not even in the right frame of mind to take care of yourself. So I feel the brain is like the engine of the car, engine of the body. The moment is damaged or there's a problem with it. And that's why the stigma with mental health is just there. Because when the engine is faulty, it's almost impossible to get every other thing to function well. You might need other people really to even be able to see and tell that you are not okay. Because you just don't even know you are not okay. And that's why the stigma is a lot with mental illnesses. And the stigma also, you know, goes on to we the health workers, because they help people in mental health and people are like, you treat, you treat, you know, treat mad people or things like that. You we will say things like that. I'm like, you know, and it's tough, really. It's tough. I can't imagine some of the things I see my patients experience, me experiencing it too, because it's like you've lost control of everything and other people have to like externally, maybe your family members have to like see. Although maybe with time, know, with treatments, insights might improve for some of them and they might be able to understand, which even makes it more difficult. It's really the educated people. When they don't have insight, it's easier because they don't know that I'm not okay. And maybe they are fighting the doctors, fighting everybody. I'm not supposed to be here, you know. But when you treat them and they get better and the insight comes back, it's even more difficult. And that's why suicide, for example, is higher among educated people who have schizophrenia when they get better. because now they know that, wow, I was really sick. And it becomes more difficult for them to cope. I say all this to say why there's just so much stigma around mental health. And that's why we all have to be extremely supportive. We don't need to stigmatize people who have mental illnesses. If we put ourselves in their shoes that if this had happened to me, what will I want or how will I want other people to respond to me? we'll have empathy and we'll be able to help as much as possible. So the stigma is because it affects the mind and the mind is the engine of the body. It's difficult to cope without it. So, but what we need is not stigma, what we need is understanding and help as much as possible. And education too, know, people need to be educated, family members need to be educated. And it's easier to also manage when the families or the units around the mentally ill is stable. But when the family unit is also not there, or the family unit is also crumbling or struggling, where do they get this help from? It's almost very, very hard. It becomes more difficult. So we all need to just understand it better. and be willing to help, not stigmatize. absolutely love it and I agree. I think more education around it is a great thing. And I feel like overall society is getting a little bit better at that part of it, but there's still room for growth. agreed. And where can people find you? So I'm on YouTube. My first name is Oluwole Babatunde, O-L-U-W-O-L-E, last N-B-A-B-A-T-U-N-D-E. So if you type that into YouTube, Oluwole Babatunde 1870 is my YouTube name. And I release like two videos every week, 15 minutes each. So my book is on Amazon, Adapt and Advance. I think it's the only book on Amazon that has that title right now. So you'll be typing ADAPT and ADVANCE to Amazon. But if you really want to be specific, you can put my name, either my first name or my last name. So ADAPT and ADVANCE, Olowole Babatunde, and it will pull it up for you. And I really want everybody listening to this, really strongly encourage you to get a copy. The ebook is still $1.99. We are still heavily subsidizing it. So it's $1.99, less than $2, less than a cup of coffee maybe. So I would really encourage everyone to at least get that one. The ad cover, the soft cover copy, and the audio book will be released on August 1st in a few days, days time, or four days time. So we have every format of it on Amazon by August 1st. So I'm also on Facebook. Same thing, if you type my name, Olowole Babatinda, you'll find me on Facebook. But what I really wanted to really, where I really want you to look for me the most right now is on Amazon, where you can get a copy of my book. If you like paper copy, the paper cover copy is, I think, $1,199. and I will make sure that those that link is posted in the show notes. Thank you. And the last question, we covered a lot of topics today. Is there anything that we did not discuss that you would like to bring up? I believe I've said many things already. I would just say don't give up, don't give in. Interpret your pain as preparation, not as punishment. Interpret your pain as preparation, not as punishment. It might be very hard for you to see that when you are right in the middle of it. But honestly, take it from someone who's been through a lot. Again, not minimizing your pain. but just letting you know that you can overcome. can overcome, no matter how hard it is right now, you might overcome the way I did mine, you know, because we are different and everybody's purpose is different. Some are not everybody's core, for example, to be a billionaire or a millennial, whatever it is, you know, but we are all called to be something. We are called to do something. And in your own little corner, you can be the best version of yourself. So don't give up, don't give in. ah understand that people have been through that journey successfully and I want you to remember this from me. You can get through it successfully too and be the best version of yourself which is unique to you. Absolutely love it. Wally, thank you so much for coming on the show. I've really enjoyed our conversation. Thank you, Travis. And thanks to all the listeners out there. Thank you for taking the time out of your day to listen to Overcome a Mental Health Podcast. The best thing you can do right now is go follow us on Instagram and YouTube. Those are the main ones that I push and also share on everywhere. Share everything that you can on us. That's very helpful. Leave us a review or rating. on Apple Podcasts and Spotify that also helps out a lot. Thanks again for listening. Until next time.