Overcome - A Mental Health Podcast

Rewiring the Brain After Trauma: Insight & Healing with Jasmina Sabi

• Travis White | Mental Health Advocate • Episode 48

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In this powerful episode of Overcome: A Mental Health Podcast, we explore what it truly means to rewire the brain after trauma. Jasmina Sabi, author of Am I Thinking Correctly?, joins Travis for a deep and eye-opening conversation on how childhood experiences, heartbreak, emotional pain, and unconscious behaviors shape the adult mind.

Jasmina breaks down the science of brain chemistry, why we spend so much of life on autopilot, and how trauma influences the way we think, love, and respond to the world. Through raw storytelling and honest reflection, she explains how understanding our nature, our triggers, and our emotional patterns is the first step in rewiring the brain after trauma.

This episode offers insight into heartbreak, betrayal trauma, emotional regulation, childhood wounds, and the deep work required to heal. Jasmina’s perspective challenges the stigma around mental health and encourages listeners to reconnect with their emotions, question old patterns, and trust that true healing is possible.

What We Discuss:

  • Why so many people live on autopilot
  • How childhood experiences shape brain chemistry
  • The role of heartbreak in awakening self-awareness
  • How emotional pain can push us toward healing
  • What it means to truly rewire the brain after trauma
  • Unconditional love, self-understanding, and emotional honesty
  • How brain chemistry impacts relationships and decision-making

If you’re looking for a conversation that is thought-provoking, honest, and deeply human, this episode will offer clarity, comfort, and hope. It’s a must-listen for anyone committed to rewiring the brain after trauma and reclaiming their emotional well-being.

Connect with Jasmina Sabi:

Read her book:
Am I Thinking Correctly? by Jasmina Sabi

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https://overcomepod.com/shop

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Hello and welcome to Overcome a Mental Health Podcast. I'm your host, Travis White. This is a place for you to share your mental health stories. I'm very excited for tonight's guest. I'm speaking with Yasmina Sabi. Yasmina is the author of Am I Thinking Correctly? Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me. Really excited to share my journey so far. Awesome. Well, let's get right into it. I'm just going to turn the time right over to you. Well, I wrote my book, and am I thinking correctly? Based on my childhood, it was really traumatic. I think everyone's starting to realize that today. Like, my God, that wasn't normal. I knew something was wrong, you know? Like, that affected me. I knew it, you know? And so I had gotten to therapy late in my 20s to like, which was the start, I will say, of me getting an understanding of my childhood. And then I got into therapy again in my early thirties, I'm 34 right now. So I believe I was 31 because I remember I was talking to somebody about a healthy relationship and they were like, well, how do you know what one looks like? And I said, that's actually a really good point. I probably should get into therapy. And so I had stopped drinking. I had lost a bunch of weight. I had, I just felt like, okay, I'm in a place where, you know, I'm a healthy person. And the person that I fell in love with, I was like, how did I not know this person was capable of these actions? And I would say that was my real first heartbreak. I was late in experiencing my heart getting broken. I just always noticed growing up that it seemed as though relationships hindered a lot of people or they'd cry or, you you just kind of would see responses to people. was like, I don't think I should have. Like I would try, but. For some reason, I couldn't get past like two or three months with somebody. And it was because I had my children. So I was like, I don't have time for this. Like, I don't know what I'm doing. I know I need to keep thinking and figuring it out. And when I felt like, okay, I got it all figured out, I'm healthy. And when my heart got broken, why this person? I was like, what is like, I just, it was like my reality was just so distorted. And then it hit me like this is what everybody. is either they never recovered from this pain or they were scared of feeling this again. And so it helped me understand the world. was like, just kind of zoomed out and just was like, there's a big issue going on here because I started going through those emotions of, I should just stay with him because at least I know what he's capable of. I said, that's why women stay with men or men stay with women. So it started making sense to me. And then I was like, my God, what if I meet somebody else and they're worse than this? And I was just like, and then I said, okay, well, I gotta figure out something because it like, as I said, it just all made sense to me, just reality overall. Like I couldn't think of any pain I seen where I just was like, I understand why that person's like that because everyone wants to get back to that newborn feeling. When you're a newborn baby, you're held, you're loved. And it's like, that's what we're all unconsciously trying to get back to, that love, that comfort. Like, where am I going to get that from? You know, we're all looking for human connection. And they say, hey, you don't need human connection. You can do it all on your own. And I feel like, well, that's something, but I couldn't get past this person because I still had to a child with them. That's where the challenge came. Cause I was like, how do I raise my child to love something I hate? And I didn't know how to do that. that was, and I remember with my mother and father, my goodness, to this day they still fight like cats and dogs. But my father was a huge influence in my life. Like I would just always think, no, what if he calls me? And I did something. So it was just the scaredness of my dad calling me that would make me think a little harder, you know? Cause I'm like, if he calls me, I don't know what's gonna happen. And I don't want to hear him say everybody in Africa is crying and so disappointed in you because that's what he always says. And so I had basically unconsciously started studying this man on like a scientific level. And everyone just kept telling me just move on. I was like, that's so dumb. I'm not going to move on because how did I not know he was capable of? breaking my heart. How did I not know that? How did I not know he had these characteristics? Like what is going on inside my brain? And I guess I became, I don't know if it's obsessed or what it is, because everyone just kept telling me, like, I just don't get why you're still thinking about it. It happens. And I'm like, I'm not going to normalize this. type of life is that? was like, I, if I feel this pain again, I don't know if I can like really recover. Like it took a lot. felt like for me to not become one of those people that's under a bridge, or become one of those people that's an alcoholic for the rest of their life, or become one of those people that's in the psych ward. I mean, when I just felt that pain, I just understood this is how people get to this broken place, because they felt an unbearable pain. Yeah, that's tough. it's like, I feel like too many people sometimes like for the long time, it takes a lot to like fully understand your partner and your spouse, like whoever it is, and to actually get to feel like what really they're capable of and get to really know their full characteristics. Cause I feel like when you're dating sometimes, like you don't get to see certain sides of a person, if that makes sense. It takes... Yeah, I know what I'm trying to say, but like it takes a while. get you, it's, you know, because what it is is they say like, don't trust anybody. But when I learned about brain chemistry, neuroscience, psychology, I said, it's not so much that I don't trust you. I don't know if you know what your brain is capable of. That's where I'm at today. Do you know what your brain is capable of? Because I remember when I had that heartbreak, people always say, man, you hear all the time, I don't know why I did that. That's always said, I don't know why I did that. Like they just can't explain it. And I said, how do I put this? So at the time I was like, yes, you do. You know why you did that. Like I was just, know, like everybody else, like you're playing a game, but I never knew there was drugs in our brain that influenced our behavior. I was like, what the, why isn't this like basic information that everybody should just. No, like they try to make it sound cool, like serotonin and dopamine. It's like, no, there's drugs in your brain. Let's go with heroin, weed, crack, whatever. And it influences your behavior and it can suppress your decision-making in order to get high. That's what's happening. that's why it's so important to have a healthy childhood so that your brain knows when to release those drugs to influence your behavior. I think we're all caught up looking around like, did you have a healthy childhood? Did you like, we're all like, what is a healthy childhood? And a healthy childhood is learning the child. And I don't know who feels like they grew up in. My parents took time to learn me. Yeah, yeah, I agree. It all goes back to your question though. What is a healthy childhood? Because I think everybody's perspective of that is going to be completely different. Oh yeah, when they had that thing, they were trying to pay millions of dollars to get their kids in college. I'm like, look at this obsession. Like, if I'm gonna spend millions of dollars, it's not gonna go to college, because you didn't naturally go there. So what do you want to do? Wouldn't that be a moment to stop there and say, all right, this must not be for you, but we're not taught to learn the child. Everyone's like, instill these qualities, instill these qualities. And I feel like that's why so many people just get older and they're just like so confused because you never really had time to exercise your brains. And I feel like that the foreigners, feel like foreigners had to use their brain because they didn't have so many resources and stuff. And that's why you have so many doctors that are foreigners because they're used to using their brain, unfortunately, under a lot of stress and unhealthy conditions, but they're used to using it. Yeah, crazy stuff. And as you were exploring, you know, the science behind emotions and pile chemistry and that type of stuff, what discoveries surprised you the most in your research? that we're on autopilot 90 % of the time. I was like, what the, I mean, I'm telling you, like, the thing is I was like going into psychosis because of what happened and the situation was so mind-boggling. And then discovering all this information, oh my goodness, I was just like, what? Like, I was just like, I said, this is why educated people hang out with educated people. I swear, it's like all the rules and stuff that you hear in society just started clicking. was like, and I was just mind blown. And I was like, you know, I had time to study this information. And I was like, a lot of people don't have time to study this. And I just kept thinking like, okay, I need to speak. need to get on platforms and just use myself as an example. And it wasn't easy because I was like, my God, what about that one night at band camp? That might resurface, you know? uh But I just said, man, you gotta put that to the side because I was like, they are all unconsciously hurting one another because it's not enough people that know this. And even if you do know this information, your brain is still gonna adapt to the environment. Your body's still gonna adapt to the environment. you can, so I mean, that happens with educated people. Like, I don't know, I mean, everyone's running around. I don't know what the heck is happening. And so that's why I wrote the book and I was like, I just got to use myself as an example. And I was nervous. It took a lot of guts because I'm telling you, I was scanning my past like, what about, how am gonna get, you know, even though I could say, I was unconscious. It was like, well, that can't always be my answer. Like, what were you thinking at the time? And I had to sit with myself and like, re-go through my whole life with new information. And I just had to tell myself, this isn't about me. Like, I can take... myself and write this book and it's going to help so many people and that's what I had to keep telling myself and mainly the children and that's what I kept thinking about the kids. was like they're so unconscious they aren't they're all hurting the kids. I actually did a post on TikTok where I said I can't tell who isn't a Jeffrey Epstein. Everyone just has a different style if you ask me. Yeah. Right. it's, and it's like, yeah, that, that, that would be like a conversation. Like I could go into that one for hours, but I totally agree with you. I'm just mentioning it for thought-provoking because like I said when they were trying to pay two million dollars to get their kids in college I'm like boy you're gonna make sure that happens like I don't know And as you were writing your book, was it more therapeutic to you or was it hard to relive your past? man, it was hard because I don't consider myself an author, but I was speaking, I was doing some research, like what can I do, what can I do? And it was saying talk to a literacy agent. And I was like, what is that? When I was doing research and so when I spoke to the woman, she was telling me about... a book and I was like, no, I'm not an author. And we ended up talking for almost two hours and she just was like, it's a blueprint. And I'm glad she did talk to me because it does make it easier to give something for people to reference rather than constantly making videos. They might not sit through the whole video, but they got a book where they could take time to read it and they can always go back to it. But when I was writing it, I just thought, okay, cool, let's go. And as I started writing it, I was like, oh, think I'm having flashbacks. I was like, okay. oh emotions was coming up and then I was thinking, my God, I got to reread all that. So yeah, it was definitely a challenge. Yeah, I can, I can only imagine. I, I think it's challenging enough at times when I'm on the podcast and I'm, you know, trying to put in my little point of view or tell my little story. And it's like, that's hard enough because you have to be really vulnerable. And sometimes to get that vulnerability across, it's not the easiest thing. I agree. I feel like what just helps me is I just remember my childhood and man, I used to just think to myself, I wish somebody would come and make her stop. Like that's just all I used to think like, my God, I wish somebody would just come and make her stop or they would know like she's about to turn into this person. They'd say, all right, bye guys. And I'm like, my God, they're about to leave us with her. That's just all I remember my childhood. So whenever I do have those struggles and I just think about my childhood where I just was thinking I wish somebody would have came and stopped this and To have a power and even you and all these different people talking about mental health it is helping the kids It is helping the children where people are becoming more aware like hey, they're looking at body language. They're looking at tone of voice and So it's so important for us that are aware of this too, keep talking about it, because there's children that don't have a voice. And there's plenty of children, unfortunately, that don't ever make it to a point to be able to tell their story. Yeah. Yeah. And it's, and it's like here with me, it's like, if I get that one person reaching out to me, you, even if it's just one out of the 20 episodes saying, you know what? You helped me with something to me, that's enough. Oh yeah, oh yeah, it definitely is. I made a post on my TikTok and this guy had sent me a message and I made a post where, you know, unfortunately the color of our shells is such a big topic. And so I had made a post where was like, have white men ever experienced abuse? And I said, cause everyone feels like they have been and they just had everything that was so golden. And I couldn't believe the post went viral. I was really shocked that it went like viral. there was this one man that messaged me and he said, I was sitting in my car and I heard you say that. And he said, and I just started, and I thought to myself, somebody cares. And he said, I just started breaking down crying. And I was like moved. And he was like, thank you. Like it was like tears of relief. Like somebody cares. And I was, I was mind blown because I was just like, I didn't know that, you know, like, so, so I definitely can understand what you were saying, where you could say something. And as you said, cause that one person, who knows how powerful their voice is. Now they can go tell this person, tell this person, and that's so beautiful. And here, from your point of view, how does, like... Let's see. I'm trying to, okay, let me rephrase this. What role do emotions play in our ability to heal or stay stuck? I feel like people still can't really understand, like, they get summed up too, because that was a bad person, you know, or they just didn't know better. And I just feel like with my book, the thing is, what scientists are trying to figure out is how to suppress our nature. And so you don't want to become susceptible to nature. So unfortunately, somebody's hitting you. That is a nature response. And so I feel like people can understand epigenetics and biochemistry. It's like, oh, that's what happened. Yes. That's why you have all these social structures. That's why you have all these different things. When people say, what are they trying to distract us from? They're trying to make sure we don't go into our nature. I mean, humans are more dangerous than lions. They have the lions dancing through hula hoops. So I just think that we have to, so I think that's not a broad enough understanding of a lot of people became susceptible to nature. So what they did is a nature response. No matter what it is, it is a nature response. And I feel like what's going to help people is if, for instance, if a judge says, hey, you're going to jail because you didn't tame your nature. I think that that would be more powerful in somebody saying, okay, but say, hey, you shouldn't have did that. You shouldn't have did that. That's where everybody keeps getting confused because they're like, they shouldn't have did that based on what? the research you came up with and like based on what information should they have not done that. That is their nature. Whether people like it or not, it is their nature. Everyone has different nature responses. Everyone has different animal instincts. And I feel like the world is trying to come up with all these things to tell us how to act and how to feel. And I just think that there needs to be a broad enough awareness of, okay, everyone has experienced nature and Don't become susceptible to nature. So if you feel like, I really want to go over there and see that woman, uh-oh, your nature's kicking in. Get your ass out the building or tell somebody, hold up, my nature kicking in. I need some help. You know, conversations like that, I feel like is what is going to help heal. to just say you shouldn't experience that, that's why people feel like, I went to therapy and so forth because they are still trying to make sense of why did I feel that though? But why? Yeah, I love it. was good stuff. Good stuff. and thinking back though, like you were, you know, earlier on you were talking about, you know, heartbreak and stuff. Would you say heartbreak was like the turning point that made you realize that you needed to understand yourself more deeply or was there something else? It was a quadruple heartbreak because it was the man I was in love with. I felt so protected with him. There were so many people that was involved in this heartbreak. And so what was devastating to me is I had to tell myself, you don't know shit. And that was a hard pill to swallow because I'm always like, I'm a very self-aware, intelligent person. like, I went to therapy. I was going to therapy for... three years every single week before I met this person. So that's what blew my mind even more where I was just thinking, what am I not doing? What am I not doing? Like I wanted to figure out how did they all formulate this? Why did they think that was okay? And people wanted to sum it up to me like, because this person's older. I'm like, I don't give a shit about none of that. Are you telling me if I was a judge, I wouldn't have felt this pain? Like who do I have to be to tell me that I wouldn't have felt this? And that's when I was like, there's a much deeper issue. And I feel like what pissed me off even further is I tried to watch some TV, like, you know what, let's relax, let's turn on some TV. And I just saw TV different. I saw these people cheating and I think they were smiling. And I was like, are they trying to tell me I should be smiling about this pain? And I was just like, no, I shouldn't have felt that. That's all I kept telling myself. And so based on all the research I've done, is... I'm sorry. Pain is to send a shock to your body and mind to help you come to consciousness. But pain has been so normalized. It's been normalized since the beginning of time. Like, you're supposed to feel pain. We go around and tell our children, you're gonna feel pain. That doesn't sound like a goddamn spell. Why are we walking around telling each other, you're gonna feel pain? Pain is out there. Pain is coming. Like, we gotta stop. Imagine if we were telling each other, no, you shouldn't feel pain. If we just simply start it there, you should not be feeling pain. That is not normal. It'll make people think. Yeah. And I feel like we normalize a lot of the stuff that's honestly not good for us. you know, you say pain and right away my mind kind of goes to like some of the foods we eat. that type of stuff. Like we normalize it all. You know why? Because everyone wants to tell you how to eat. That's another thing. Everyone wants to tell you how you should be operating. Like with my son, for instance, he takes 20 minutes to eat his food. One day I thought something was wrong with him. said, why are you taking so long? And he said, because one time I ate really fast and my stomach was hurting. So I just realized I need to slow down. A lot of us adults probably, we probably know that. And so when I did some research, it said it should take 20 minutes to complete a meal. And I was like, huh? That like blew my mind, but then my daughter, eats every two hours. And I was thinking like, boy, this kid's always eating, like, but she's like, I don't like heavy food on my stomach. And she went into detail and I was thinking like, what's my eating like? And so I feel like we don't really sit with ourself enough to believe that our body will tell us what to do. Our mind will tell us what to do. So we're looking to, like I had this one workout I was doing and I was paying $200 a month. And I wasn't losing any weight and I was like, my gosh, like I got up to 185 pounds. And I was just like, why am I spending so much and not losing weight? And just one day I remember I sat with my body and it's like, your body's under so much stress and high hormones, cause I'm a single mom with three kids. And it was like, you need something that's like relaxing. And it was like, just walk up and down your hill. And my God, I had lost like 10 pounds and that didn't cost me anything. So we have to really sit with ourself and say what works for us. Cause somebody's always going to walk up to you and everyone is going around teaching each other, other people's ideas, people they don't even know. Yeah, that's so true. And I like what you said there. If you listen to your body, like your body's going to tell you, you know, your body better than the doctor or anybody else. And I think back to, so last year I was having some medical issues and these medical issues have been going on for a long time. Anyways, long story short, like the doctor said you probably should change your diet. I changed my diet. most medical issues went away and I lost like 40 pounds in the matter of three months. And I was like, I was like, holy hell, like why didn't anybody tell me to eat differently before? Because I know because we're just like, you know, we're on autopilot, that's why. Because we're on autopilot 90 % of the time and we're just like walking around, just moving through and moving through and we don't really stop and say, hold on to come to consciousness. Yeah. And I, that like really struck me though, when you back earlier, when you mentioned we were on autopilot 90 % of the time, because it got me thinking like, you know what? Now that you say that, like makes a lot of sense in my brain to why I do things the way I do things and why I don't stop some of the time to like rethink what I'm doing. Or it's just like day by day. Like this is what I do. Yeah, your brain's just, and so trigger it. They're like, my God, they're triggering you. That's bad. And honestly, I look at triggering as they brought you out of autopilot. Now, how did they bring you out of autopilot? It is tricky, you know, because somebody might have said something rude. Now you're out of autopilot or somebody said something thought provoking. Now you're out of autopilot. And it can be frustrating when, depending on what somebody says to you that brings you out of autopilot, if you don't know how to respond. that says, uh-oh, I don't have enough information in my brain to respond to this. And ah I think that's what triggering is. To me, it's like an electric signal to your brain to bring you out of autopilot and bring you into consciousness. So when Trump became president, shit, that brought everybody out of autopilot because we were so used to somebody that held that position, how they would speak, how they would act. So it was like people paid attention, but we didn't really, because we were so used to a specific type of like demeanor and a specific type of tone of voice. But when he came, man, he brought everybody. He brought the whole world at autopilot. It was like, what did he just say? So, yeah. Yeah, yeah, different demeanor and everything, right? Oh yeah, it was like, what is he saying? Like it was, it brought everyone out of autopilot. You know, whether I agree with what he does or not is irrelevant. I just know he brought everybody out of He brought the whole world out of autopilots. Yeah, I can, I see that like, and I can totally agree with that. And you just make me think too, it's like, I've been in therapy for some time and being in, I just want to touch base on autopilot one more time, because I feel like it's important. I feel like that's why it's so hard to kind of rewire our brains to think differently about ourselves as we're stuck in like these different ruts that we get stuck in throughout life. yeah, for sure, because with therapy, I didn't blame my therapist, but when I knew therapy wasn't enough, it's because like I said, when I met this man, I was in therapy for three years, every single week, for three years. So I was like, this isn't enough. And I didn't blame my therapist or anything like that. I was just like, I need to seek something out because I was just like, I can't. And then I remember, I said, can we do trauma therapy? said, we can't do trauma therapy if you're still in the situation. And I was like, my God. And then when I did research, I had learned that what I went through was betrayal trauma. And it said it takes four to five years to heal from that. And I said, when I read that, I said, I know you fucking lying. I am not gonna sit here and tell myself that I'm going to feel this for. five years, and I was just like, who came up with this? And so I just, and I feel like what helped me is actually did something that is not, like they talk about it surface level, but I was telling my brain what happened, what is it? I guess I was communicating with my brain and my body and I didn't know it. And I feel like my brain started releasing. all this information, you know, because we get what 80,000 thoughts a day. And I feel like I just started getting all this sudden realization. And I was thinking like, I mean, I'm probably have talked to a scientist or somebody like, hey, what happened on a scientific level? But I feel like it started releasing information to me of like how, of just so many things I became aware of, where somebody told me like, you're speaking epigenetics. And I was like, what the hell is epigenetics? Like, So I just felt like I had to sit with my brain and body and say, no, how the hell do you operate? And I was aware, I didn't let people tell me how to think. That's a very big thing I'm starting on. Like we can have a conversation, but if I leave the conversation and I'm feeling bad about myself, done with that. You know, because I don't need anything that's making me feel bad to, if it's thought provoking, that's cool. You know, so I just think that we lose so much faith in ourself because people want to tell you what the hell is. Everyone can tell you the truth about everything else except for themselves. That's what I notice. That's what I hear in the media. They can tell you somebody's whole life. Candace Owens can tell you that this woman is a man or whatever. And I'm like, who are you? What do you do with your children? How come I never hear about if you play with your kids? If you cook pancakes in the morning with them, like, you know, like who are you? And with that type of attitude, I am very, I just kind of, I people talk, but I'm just like, if you're not telling me who you are and this is an authentic conversation, I'm not going to beat myself up. I'm done with that. Yeah. Yeah, I totally agree. And it's like, it is crazy because like you're speaking in all of the media and it's like, they can tell you everything about everything else, but it's like, I feel like people now don't really want to talk about themselves. And who knows why? And it's like, and I think everybody has a story, but maybe people just don't want to air their dirty laundries. But some of the stuff I feel like we need to talk about. We're gonna talk about it. That's where I'm at in my life. Like, we're gonna talk about it because the problem is that, like I said, I can't tell who isn't a Jeffrey Epstein because I always hear people say I'm worried about my kid. And I say, you know what's so ridiculous about that? You can raise your child to have pure intentions and to be this great person until, what? They might run into a kid that nobody cared about. That kid could be their boss now. That kid could be their partner. that kid could be their teacher. So that's why it's so important to worry about other children because you could run into a kid that nobody cared about. And I feel like a lot of people want to have this certain representation of this is who I am. But the reason why I feel like they're like that is because they don't understand brain chemistry. They don't understand epigenetics. And I think if that's why I filled with my book. Once they read it, it's gonna be, now it makes sense. And I guarantee a lot of people are gonna be comfortable with saying what they did, but a lot of people don't wanna talk about it, because they really can't make sense of, oh my God, why was I having those thoughts? Oh my gosh, delete my browser history, okay? They're just like, because they can't make sense of why did I have those thoughts? it's like, people are swimming in the ocean with the sharks on purpose. They're jumping out of airplanes willingly. What do you mean, why did you have those thoughts? Take a look around. Like who hasn't lost their damn mind? You know, a person swimming in the ocean with the sharks is considered more sane than somebody walking down the streets on opioids. You're swimming with sharks, like, and you're doing that sober? I'm scared of you, pal. Like, how are you, how are you doing that? That's not a conscious thought. Your brain has hijacked you and convinced you that swimming in the ocean with the sharks is such a big high. Yeah, totally agreed. And it's amazing what our brain can actually do to us to make us believe such a thing is the high that it really, you know, that you're... mean, every time you see somebody do something, they really can't explain. They're like, I don't know why I did that. And then you have the lawyers. And that's another thing too. Everybody talks to the dead. I never have live conversations. Every time somebody tells me something. In 18 such and such, I'm like, boy, you're still talking for them? Like, do you not realize it's 2025? Like, I don't think that's... We can say, hey, this what they used to do, but to keep embodying it. And politicians are the biggest people that have to talk to the dead. They're always saying, and I'm just like, who was conscious? Like, I'm telling you, I'm just, once I got this awareness of brain chemistry and I sat with myself, I got, I will say, my connection back. And I did something I never did before. I was like, my God, people's gonna ask me what's my religion. And I never identified by one because my mom was Muslim. No, my dad was Muslim and then my mom was Christian, but they weren't nice, I felt like. Yeah, that's that seems like just a two different religions that like are far enough apart that'd be hard growing up in to me because I'm Christian but it seems like there I don't know it just seems like it'd be kind of a Do you feel like you're pulled one way and not like more than the other? because I felt like my dad's like I don't care what she said you're Muslim and then she's like I don't care what your dad said you're Christian It was so stupid, you know, and I'm just sitting there So I never so I would say Christian because it sounded like the correct thing to say But then when I just got older it was like also you go to church at also and I was like wait if I identify as that they're gonna expect me to have these expectations and so Then I said I'm just spiritual but then I noticed what the spiritual people they walk around like I'm spiritual and I'm like I don't want to like, and so I did something that I was taught, well, I was never taught to do. And I just asked the spirit myself, what is your name? And I heard all. And I thought I was crazy. Cause I was like, what the hell does that mean? But the more I've sat and researched it, I'm like, that actually sounds correct to me. Imagine if everybody walked around and said, just praise all. That would get rid of a lot of wars. Just praise all. Like, what are we? You guys are all fighting about the correct name. my goodness. Like just, you know, I understand religious structures. It is to help get people set of rules so they don't drift off into what you feel. It's basically to help control your brain chemistry. Like, hey, if you start feeling confused, just know the religion says this. And it's like, we're all having a human experience and to tell somebody what the correct human experience is, is why you have so many problems. Some people become conflicted in their identity. I don't know who the hell isn't conflicted in their identity. Everybody is like, and it's like you bring back up the, you brought up the religion aspect of it. So I'm Christian and I have a friend that's, you know, doesn't believe in God or whatever. And, and he's like, well, you know, there's no religion or whatever. And it's like, well, if I'm in the end, if I'm wrong, like I guess I said it the end, if I'm wrong about my religion, dude, like I'll be the first one to say like, okay, I was wrong, but right now I feel like being in a, you know, religious person, it makes me, it goes back to what you were saying. It makes me feel like a better person. gives me a set of standards that I want to abide by to be a better person. And I said, and I said, the point of all social structures, actually, because Israel and Iran, they only have two social structures, politics and the Bible. We see how that's going. I think that you need to have more things. So I wouldn't say like, it's bad. But as I said, I feel as though once enough people read this book, they're going to say, brain chemistry, you know, like they're going to have an understanding and I just feel like a lot of people need a set of rules or structure because nobody talks about their thoughts out loud. Nobody discusses their porn history out loud. And it's like, why do I have these thoughts and feel this way? And so this book is going to help people say, oh, like that's all I want people to say. Like, okay. I need to better control my brain because my brain is trying to put all these thoughts in my head so it can get high. So I need to figure out how to get my brain high so it won't hijack me. You know, and suppress my decision making in order to get high. Yeah, makes sense. what, what do you, what are some things that, or ideas that you have that we can do as a society to actually take control of our brain so we don't feel that ability to need to get that high? While I'm working on a shirt, the front of the shirt is gonna say, what's your instant gratification? And somebody's gonna probably say, I don't know, let's say football. And on the back of the shirt, it's gonna say, so that's how your brain gets high. Now on a deeper level, that person said their instant gratification is football. So if you guys are having an argument, you better hope there's a football game on, because that's how their brain gets high, you know? Or if somebody says, working out. Okay, if you guys get into an argument, that person gets frustrated, they're gonna go work out. They're not gonna go cheat at the gym. They're gonna go work out. So we need better things to help us communicate on, you know, okay, what releases the drug in somebody's brain. And if they don't know what releases the drug in their brain, I feel like it should be something that doesn't involve a human connection because you could become susceptible, unfortunately, to a lot of different things. So, you know, like, you have to think like, okay, how do I, at least like two things you can instantly do that just involves you to balance those drugs in your brain. Because if it involves another human connection, it's just like, that's gonna get tricky, you know? Because you're start acting like a dope head, like, where are they? That's why you got this behavior, like, why are they acting like that? Because the brain's trying to get high, it's looking for its drugs. Yeah, it makes sense. I have all sorts of like thoughts going in. Like you've opened like this, this thing in my mind that I don't think I've ever thought of before. See, boom. That's the power of the spirit whose name is all. But overall, that's why I wrote the book. I hope you do check it out. I did get it on Audible and the people listening to, because if you introduce enough thought provoking information, to me it's like the brain's excited, like, my God, okay. Like, I feel like the brain's trying to be understood and they're trying to send out signals to, understand me. And the scientists are trying to come up with information for massive. It's like, well, hold on, everybody comprehends. Like, people are making fun of people that comprehend at a 12-year-old knowledge. And I'm like, well, everybody was busy surviving. So it kind of makes sense why we don't understand each other. like, you know, we were trying to figure out how to get food or dodge this or dodge that, you know? And so uh with the book, as I said, I use myself as an example where I'm just as honest as possible. I make the language as simple as possible. And it's not too much of a thick book. It's a self-help book. It's probably like this thick, just to introduce enough thought-provoking information. That's all I want is to help people think on a deeper level. And not only that, to just look at me like, dang, she just told a bunch of things people don't say out loud. And if I can do it, you can too. Like don't run around telling everybody your sins, you know? oh But just, I just want people to tell themselves like, okay. That's why I had those thoughts. That's why, like, it makes sense now and I just need to better control my brain because it is trying to hijack me to get high. Yeah. And it's, it's, I'm thinking of these things now that like, I, I'm like, well that's this probably, that's the thing that I love to go do. Like that's probably what I, my high in life is like, for one, I love going to concerts. And it's like, there's times where I feel like I need that connection to overcome stuff or get out of a rut or whatever. yeah, that's vibration, like body vibration, energy, like everything is super energetic. And so I feel like with stuff like that, people's like, how do I get to that energy? And the reason I'm working on making such a big enough awareness about it is because if a hundred people know that's cool, but you need a massive amount of people. So you can just feel that vibration all the time. Like it feels like it's a concert every time I go outside. People are so nice. People are understanding. We're not all walking around like, we're just, we're more confident. And that is what the book is going to do is help people become more confident. That's really cool. I love that. And I just have a few more questions for you here. What perspectives about emotions and healing do you think society gets wrong? that there's one particular pill for everybody. Everyone just, for instance, with their prison systems, I can't believe they don't have breath work. It's like they're literally in there because they didn't take time to breathe. Like, I don't think they need to work out and heighten their animal instincts. that's probably one thing I can say we all can agree on maybe is breath work, but anything outside of that, I think that's the challenge they are trying to figure out. What do we come up with? When I say they, I'm referring to the scientists because yes, they're trying to figure out what is it gonna take? And now they feel the robots. My goodness, co-pilot is okay, but it's constantly emotionally validating you. And I'm just like, that's dangerous. You can't constantly have your emotions valid. They don't know what the hell they're doing. They're trying. They're trying. And so with this type of stuff, feel like you're gonna always have somebody that's skeptical and probably dismisses the connection between emotions and biochemistry. How do you respond to the skeptic? I would say you're one of those people that's gonna have to see a massive change. Because you gotta know when to stop talking, I've learned too. Because somebody will sit there and just go back and forth, back and forth, and I notice when somebody is not trying to get a different perspective. So I feel like I know the power of nature. So it's like you can sit here and say nobody's gonna believe or whatever, you know, but you're gonna be one of those people that's gonna see a massive shift and guess what? Nature will adapt to the environment. So that's how I look at it. You know, it's not a large enough conversation, because I did have somebody who was an atheist that was challenging me, like, what are you going to say to atheists? What are you going say to atheists? And at the time, I wasn't as full of knowledge as I am today. And I was like, well, I wouldn't know how to respond. And they just kept going and going. And I was just like, you're not looking to have a conversation. You're looking for me to give you an emotional validation that you don't want to give your damn self. Right? That's the first thing I think too. It's like... you just want, you want somebody to be mad with you. It's like, we're all fucking mad. Like, we're all mad, we're all hurt, we're all confused. We just, like, everyone just has a different style of doing it. And we can all go yell and scream in the street, but the protesters are fucking busy doing that. And it's not making, like, it's not making a difference. I mean, I haven't seen one protest, I'm sorry, that made like this great. big difference. anything, just like open a bigger can of worms, a bigger can of worms. just, I don't know. So yelling and screaming, just think isn't helping. Yep, I totally agree. it's like, yeah, do I think that people should have the right to protest? Yeah, but I am not, I'm with you, I side with you on that. I have not seen a difference that it makes ever. It just makes it worse. Somebody actually told me that Dr. Martin Luther King said he thinks he made a mistake. I said, he said that? I was like, after he done went out there, I was like, and I just think, especially when you have technology today, you know, cause with me promoting my book, people's like, you need to go to networking events. I'm like, no, I don't. Technology is so powerful. My words could shoot off to probably a million people overnight. I said, okay, maybe meeting in person and stuff, but I was like, technology is, come on, my video could travel all the way to New York. Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's like I have TikTok and Instagram and all these marketing techniques at my fingertips. Right? I'm like, I don't, if I go to a networking event, I guess it's just to get out and socialize, but I'm always trying to figure out how to use the internet because everyone is online. Like I believe in human connection, but as far as networking to reach a bunch of people at one time, yeah, definitely TikTok and TikTok really, yeah, I'm going to have to say TikTok, but it's really just to promote my book. I keep hoping that one video goes viral. And when people come to me, I actually have something to say. Because when people go viral, they're like, hey, so what do you have to say? And they're like, I, uh, they ain't got shit to say. Nothing helpful. Like, I'm like, what a waste. You have nothing to say. Just wanted somebody to look at you. Yeah, yeah, I can see exactly the point. it's, it's just like, no, it's, just, nothing helpful to say to the world. Just look at me. ugh. I feel like there's a lot of people though on social media that are that way. It's like there's no thought provoking message. It's trying to get attention. Yeah, just attention seeking behavior. I'm like, are they repeating what they think people want to hear? It's just, it's so dumb. I'm like, I, I'm just like, you know, now that I'm fully conscious, I'm telling you, I'm like, my gosh, I just had to look around, but you know, I'm like, okay, I've done this and promoting my book. Oh, so what I will say has been helpful about TikTok is I finally got my book on TikTok Shop and it said that I can reach out to influencers and offer them commission to promote my book. So I was like, oh my gosh, finally. I made a post and I said, you guys will probably never see me again on here. Like now that I got somebody to promote the book because I don't want to keep having these conversations to invoke thought. Like I made a post that said, do white people like fried chicken and watermelon? my God, it went viral. And I was like. And I was just like, so I say stuff like that because I know how to invoke a deeper thought, but it's mostly because I'm trying to say, Hey, I want you guys to read my book. you know, so, um, yeah, so I'm excited with that. Um, I got my shipment and, um, shipment and everything with Amazon. Cause I didn't know how to do the fulfillment order, but I got that going. I've reached out to some influencers and I'm hoping by the end of this month, like my book is circulating on a Tik Tok. Am I thinking correctly? So we can change this shit. oh One last question here, then it's just a few follow-up questions. How has this journey reshaped your definition of love itself? It definitely helped me, I will say I learned to really love unconditionally because even though this person broke my heart, I mean, I love that guy so much. I found the seed he came out of. And at first I think I was talking to a few people and I was like, I feel like I should not be loving him. And then I remember my therapist was like, why? was like, cause everybody's going to tell me all these reasons of why I shouldn't. And I just. I just love him and I, and that was, that was, that was thought provoking. It was thought provoking because he did so many things where people's like, somebody told me you have Stockholm syndrome. Here we come with the diseases now. Everyone's telling me, oh, you have this disease, you have that. I'm like, wow. Unconditional love means you have diseases. I mean, I don't think that you should stay in an abusive relationship. You know, if you're not trying to understand it. I think that to stay in a relationship and just say, okay, this is it, that's just how it is. Okay, that's not healthy. You know, because with this man, it definitely was a psychologically abusive relationship. And I didn't stand for it, like, okay, this is just what it is. But it didn't make me stop loving him. Because I wanted to understand why is he acting like this? Yeah, and I think there's a lot of people that get kind of gets like. trying to think of how to say it. In that position that you found yourself in. That they're, Great. It's like they want to understand the person so they stay with that person even though the abuse is happening. Yeah, and I feel like it's because they don't know your brain is trying to get high. And that's the thing too. I realized this, think the other day when I was talking to somebody, said, when did we all feel that big rush of being high? And it was when we was a baby, we weren't being held. so we're all trying to, and so the thing is once your brain releases a big high for the rest of your life, it's always trying to get back to that high. And so that's why relationships are like the biggest unhealthy thing because it's so familiar. I'm being held, I'm being kissed, I'm being caressed. And so it's like they're trying to overlook, hey, is this unhealthy? Because the brain's like, hey, I'm getting my fix. So you'll be all right. Like, you know, and they become unconscious of that. But I feel like if people were more aware of, for instance, the conversation we're having right now, my God, like if this conversation right here reached millions of people. Boom, they're gonna say, oh, you know, it's gonna invoke some thought. Yeah, totally agree. just see the, this is kind of just a generalized question I ask all my guests because I like to hear the different responses I get. what do you feel is the biggest stigma when it comes to mental health? Oh gosh, what is the fucking correct personality? You know, I think I was, what was this? Some show I was watching, it was this, it was a person of a different ethnicity to me and they were saying like, oh, they had multiple personalities. And when I was looking at this person talk, I was like, that's probably me. Cause I can be animated. I can be sophisticated. Does that mean so I should walk around and tell people I got eight personalities walking? I don't need to announce that shit. I don't need to announce that. I adapt um to different environments and it doesn't mean I'm still gonna have the same type of conversation. It just might be in a different tone. It might be with a different personality. And somebody can say, well, that's a trauma response because you should have, you should have, and everyone's telling each other of the correct goddamn way to speak. to act, how you should make your faces. Get the hell out of my goddamn face. I'm cool with this. You know what, I actually really love the raw energy that you bring. I love the vibe that you have. I think it's awesome. Thank you, thank you. mean, somebody has to... you're good you're good but being completely real like i i think it's i think you bring a vibe and energy that's awesome now I have to because I'm just like, I'm so sick of it. Honestly, I'm so honest that even my family is like, what's wrong with her? Because they always thought like she's up to something. I was just like, what the hell is going on with her? Because I just felt like, um I just felt I was too, and just, I don't know, maybe it's because I experienced enough pain, enough humiliation where I just felt like I'm tired of being every, I'm a product of scientist ideas. We all are. And I feel like as long as I have good intentions, it shouldn't matter how I'm talking. If somebody tells me, you're kind of hurting my feelings, I don't know how it could really hurt somebody's feelings. I don't really hear that. But I'm comfortable with who I am because I know that everyone wants to feel that way. They want to feel comfortable with themselves. And you know, I... I don't know, I just don't think there's no correct way to act. And I think we can all learn from one another. And so I think that's what it is. I'm not closed minded, I'm really open minded too. What does this person think? Because I want to understand. And that's what makes somebody fun and nice to be around. Because it's like they want to understand what's going on. They're not just walking in the building to tell everyone how they should be acting and how they should be talking. Who wants to be around that type of person? Nobody. no, at all. it's my theory is like, we're all different. I think we're all meant to be different. Right? Right? boring if we just all walked around and talked in the same way. We'd all be trying to go to different lands like, right, it's boring here. Oh, wait, then everyone is fucking doing that, trying to go to different lands because they get bored. Like, OK, it's all the same. want to, you know, the human mind is meant to experience a lot of different experiences. Mm-hmm. I totally agree. Awesome. And where can people find you? They can find me on TikTok by my first and last name. I'm Google-able now. Google-able. Is that a word? Google-able. Google-able. say it's, I think it's a word. I've heard it before, so. I'm Google-able now. So yeah, because I think I did that. I had typed my name and I was like, wow, like my videos and stuff pop up. So it's real easy to find me. I was like, my gosh, I've made it to where you can Google me. Now it's probably, I'm not on the news and stuff, but you know, you can Google my name and you're going to see my picture. Like that's her. And is there and I'll be sure to add like all that stuff in my show notes is that when I release this So people know exactly where to find you As our so we just we covered a lot of ground tonight I feel like is there anything that we did not discuss that you would like to bring up I just feel like I want people to understand that your brain can't control you. It can control you your whole life and a lot of pain that you experience. It was not a conscious response. Somebody did not truly want to inflict pain. The mind is trying to inflict pain and even with the mind trying to inflict pain, it's trying to figure out how to release the drugs and That's why, and so I just want people to grab my book so that they can say, oh, that's why that happened to me because somebody who's truly conscious cannot invoke pain. It's not a conscious response to invoke pain. And I've been through a lot of it. I have been through a lot of it. I still cry. I actually think crying is really powerful. Cause I was crying the other day and I was like, ah, ah. I don't know what I was crying about. I just feel like, you know, I just like to relax. I was just in my room and my God, the next day my friend's like, hey, let me take you to breakfast. I'm gonna clean your car. I just dead. I was just like, wow. So something about crying, I feel like when you cry, ask God, ask your mind, ask your body or the essence of God or whatever what you need. And then put in the work. Don't just say like, my gosh, I wish I can understand my pain. And then just... Lay there, turn on a movie and you might start seeing the movie differently or you know, don't ever feel like you have to stop learning. Being a human is hard, surprise. It's not easy. Yeah, that's for sure. And I agree with you. I feel like maybe I'll take away my masculinity here and say that I liked it. A good cry here and there because I feel like I'm able to let out things that I've been storing in for so long. You know, the reason why men don't cry is that's a war tactic. That goes all the way back to the beginning of time. They taught the men that you were to protect and provide because if men were really in tune with their emotions, do you think we'd have soldiers? You wouldn't. So they had to numb the men into don't cry. If men were, if they said, okay, you can cry, they couldn't go over there and do all those things they're doing. Yeah. why men are taught protect and provide. And they're like, don't cry, don't cry. And it's like, they don't even know that was programmed into you in case somebody needs you for their war. Yep, I totally agree. Well, Izmina, thank you so much for coming on the show today. Thank you for having me. Well, I've thoroughly enjoyed our conversation. And like I said, I love the raw energy that you bring and the vibe that you have. I absolutely love it. And I love what you're doing, very thought provoking. Thank you, thank you. Well, thank you all for listening. The best thing you can do for now, for us is to, the best thing you can do for us is to follow us anywhere you can and share our stuff. I hope that you were, this was able to provoke some thoughts within you and if you like it, please share it. Thanks again for listening, until next time.