How Can Men Rebuild Mental Strength Without Losing Their Faith?

In this episode of Overcome With Travis White, we confront the silent battle many Christian men are fighting burnout, emotional shutdown, shame, identity loss, and the pressure to always be strong without ever being honest.

If you’ve been asking yourself how can men rebuild mental strength without losing their faith, this conversation will hit home.

Men’s strength coach Sean McManus shares how faith, fitness, discipline, and brotherhood help men rebuild mental resilience without compromising their beliefs. We unpack why so many men feel exhausted and disconnected and what practical steps they can take to reclaim clarity, confidence, and leadership.

We discuss:

• The “nice guy” trap in Christian culture
• Why men feel burned out but don’t talk about it
• How nutrition and fitness impact mental strength
• The power of courageous transparency
• Why men must stop pouring from an empty cup
• How to rebuild mental strength without abandoning faith

If you're wondering how can men rebuild mental strength without losing their faith, this episode offers real answers rooted in faith and action.

You are not weak for struggling.
 You are not less faithful for feeling burned out.
 And you can rebuild.

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Transcript

0:01

Hello and welcome to Overcome a Mental Health Podcast. I'm your host, Travis White. This is a place for you to share your mental health stories. I'm very excited to introduce tonight's guest. I'm speaking with Sean McManus. Sean is a men's strength coach and founder of McManus Strength and Nutrition, a movement dedicated to helping Christian men reclaim their confidence, purpose, and leadership through faith, fitness, and discipline. Sean, welcome to the show. Travis, thank you brother. I'm excited to be here and looking forward to our conversation this evening. same here. I appreciate you taking the time out of your day to speak with me, but without wasting any time I'm just going to turn the microphone over to you and let you tell us about your journey. Yeah, man, of course. So I'll just give a brief overview of my story. I grew up on a small farm in North Carolina. So growing up, got to enjoy the farm life. I was homeschooled as a kid all the way through high school and then went to college for agriculture, actually. I was planning on farming full time and got out of college and did the usual thing. You know, joined the corporate workforce. I was working for a chicken company. I worked there for around eight years. During that time, it took, was probably about two years or so, I started to get pretty bored with my job, but I kind of stayed there. I knew there was something else I should be doing and I knew there was kind of more to life than just that job, but I stayed there for quite some time. And then my wife and I, my wife got pregnant with our second son and after I'd been working there for about eight years. And at that point we were pretty tight financially already. so at that point I knew that I had to make a change as far as where I was working because we're a single income household. so was kind of on a countdown clock. So I started looking around for jobs, ended up doing some door knocking for a, solar company going door to door sales. so went from my W two to a hundred percent commission with a baby that was due in two months. So that was kind of a scary thing, not really the usual safe thing that you do. But I really felt like I could, you know, I could make some money. needed to make some money quickly. So I went that route. Didn't like that job at all. Decided to do some different things. I started a home repair business, was doing some handyman work. I've got a bit of a construction background. So I was doing that as well as doing some coaching on the side, because I had been pursuing fitness for quite some time at that point. And I was just running both of those businesses. and spending a lot of time trying to get clients for both businesses and eventually decided that the home repair is not what I wanted to continue doing. So I jumped full on into Christian men's strength and nutrition coaching and that's where we are now. So hopefully that gives you kind of a kind of a pretty broad overview. But that's kind of kind of how I've gotten to where I am now. that's really cool and I love absolutely love your focus here and what you're doing to help men out because I think it's important I don't think there's enough companies that actually focus on just men Yeah, yeah, I'm with you. So to dive a little bit deeper into my journey when my wife and I first got married, I actually we'd been married for a little while is after we had after we had our first son. You know, we were kind of experiencing some turbulence in our marriage and it wasn't anything crazy bad. It wasn't like we were planning on getting divorced or anything like that. It was just we were just struggling. with some stuff, know, she, she had some, her hormones were doing different things. you know, from the pregnancy, from having the baby, she was, you know, new mom, I'm a new dad. So we had a lot of emotions that were, we just didn't know about, didn't know we're coming, didn't know how to deal with them. you know, both of us retired stress, you know, trying to figure out this parenting thing and whether or not we do it right. And, um You know, I was, was trying to find something to improve our circumstances. was like, something is something is off here. Like there's got to be a way to make this better. Uh, so I started kind of diving into personal development. Um, I started reading books, started listening to podcasts, started searching for someone or something that could help me figure out what was going on in my life and in my marriage and how to make it better. And I stumbled across through a podcast. Actually, I stumbled across this coaching program called the family captain. So shout out to the family captain. And it's a coaching program that teaches Christian men how to be better husbands and better leaders in their home. So I dove headfirst into that. was the first time I had invested in any kind of coaching experience. And man, my eyes were opened to you know what it looks like for me to live out the biblical sense of me being a man, what it looks like for me to live out the biblical sense of me being a husband. you know what that looked like very practically. And, uh, you know, I started seeing a lot of really good fruit in my marriage because of that. but it really opened my eyes to men in the Christian culture, mostly in the Christian culture have this really this tendency of, I want to say nice guy syndrome. I know if you guys are familiar with that term or not, but basically what that means is... Christian men just try to be nice all the time. And what that looks like practically is they don't share their opinions. They don't speak the truth boldly. They often get walked on by their wives or by their employers, by their jobs, all in this effort of being nice because we have been trained to, know, as Christians, we try to be like Jesus, but in some way, shape or form, the church has watered down Jesus so much that they have just kind of said, well, he was just a really, really nice guy. And so that's what we as Christian men have emulated. And that's really gotten us to this place in society where we are now. Yeah, I totally agree and because I don't look at Jesus as somebody that was always nice. I think he was nice but also firm in his dealings with men and his teachings. Absolutely, and there's a you know, there's a way that we that I kind of talk about it I've heard a lot of other, you know men talk about as well as there's just there's a really big difference between a nice guy and a good man They're not the same thing A good man is not someone that is just nice and and and walked on all the time and not bold a good man is someone that is yes kind and gentle and loving but also bold and Courageous when he needs to be um You know boldly speaking truth boldly leading his family in the direction that they're supposed to go bold in his convictions So we just we kind of have this this overwhelming just kind of mess of what it looks like to be a good man in Christian culture today and My eyes are really open to that and I've just become very passionate about it and that's kind of part of what led me to where I am in my business now really cool. But with so many men feeling disconnected from their purpose, how does faith help reconnect them to who they're meant to be? Hmm, it's really good. So when God made us, he made us for a purpose, I believe very, very strongly. Well, if you're a Christian, you believe very strongly that, you know, God created each of us for a specific purpose. Like there's a reason that you're on this planet today. He has a plan for you. He has a destiny for you. And really leaning into that piece and pursuing it and trying to figure out what it is for you is is the way that you're going to find fulfillment in this life. Because oftentimes, like we go through this life and we kind of, we kind of just coast in kind of the sense of like comfort and passivity and routine. And we don't really see everything that we could or our life doesn't become everything that it could, because we're just stuck in this routine of comfort and passivity. So pursuing that calling that he has on your life and pursuing it boldly and courageously. is kind of that way where you're going to find fulfillment in the day-to-day life. And sometimes I feel like the hard part is finding what you need to pursue. Because I totally believe that all of us are given special gifts or certain gifts that nobody else has. And sometimes they're not necessarily out in the open. You have to really dig in and search for them. Absolutely. Yeah. And I think that that speaks a lot to how important it is to be self-aware. how important it is to kind of dig within yourself and to find those things that you're good at. And, know, even, even using resources like, you know, like a Clifton strength finders test or anything like that, where it can help you kind of point you in the right direction of like, okay, these are things that I'm good at. Like these are things that I have strength in. and really just kind of looking, looking at your life, looking at yourself. looking at how you do things and paying attention to yourself and learning what you're good at and learning what you're not good at so that you can pursue things in that direction, things that are more aligned with your strengths and you know who you are as a man and how God created you. And that's kind of the start to that path of trying to figure out like, okay, what's my purpose? What am I good at? because honestly, Travis, like if you would have told me even three or four years ago that I would be running a business, coaching Christian men strength and nutrition? No, like that didn't cross my mind. I would have no idea what you're talking about. But kind of through this process of trying different things out and like expanding my horizons and like a lot of what happens is we get so stuck in thinking that, okay, well, I need to find my plan. I need to find my purpose. And if I don't know exactly what that looks like and what that process looks like, then I'm not gonna pursue anything. In reality, in reality, we just need to figure out what our next step is. Like it's kind of like throwing darts at a dartboard. Like man, you gotta try some stuff to figure out what you like and what you don't like. And you don't need to know the whole plan from the start. Like you just need to figure out what your next step is in that right direction. Yeah, yeah, sorry. I got a little bit excited there just cause like I didn't mean to cut you off. But I see exactly where we're headed because it's like, I feel like in society, you know, we are taught to take this nine to five job and just keep climbing up the ladder. And sometimes I feel like we get stuck in this mental state of just keep trying to climb up the ladder and see how high we can make it to the top. Which makes it so we don't. pursue anything else because that's what we're taught. Man, that's so true. it's a lot of it really, I think is fear. I mean, it's fear and it's also just, you know, we've been ingrained to like, that's the safe route. The safe route is to go to college. The safe route is to go get a job. And then furthermore, like you get to the point like where I am in life, know, Travis, maybe where you are, where we have a couple of kids and we're responsible for providing for a family. And then we get there and we're like, I can't do anything risky now. Like there's no way that I can do something quote unquote risky. I have a family to feed. Like I have to do this safe thing. When in I had a mentor one time tell me and he was like, we think about the job. We think about the nine to five. We think about the W two as the safe option. When in reality as a W two employee, you have one client. Your client is your employer. If that if you do something that your client does not like and that client fires you, you have zero income because you only had one client as an entrepreneur or as a business owner, you have multiple clients. So if one fires you, it's like, okay, like the boat isn't sinking yet. We're okay. We just pivot and move on. So that really helped to frame it in my mind of like, Is the W-2 job really the safe route? Or have we been lied to? And maybe it's not. Yeah, I definitely go on the side of we've been lied to. I'm finally working up the courage to try a couple things myself. I'm not very far into them yet, but I always feel like God is in the details. If you push yourself and are doing the best that you can, God's gonna be there for you in the end. Man, that's so true. That's so true. And, you know, thinking back on my own journey, it was like, I was not near as close to him when I was quote unquote comfortable. mean, I was comfortable, comfortable in the sense of like, knew how much money I was going to make this month. not comfortable in the sense that we had plenty. mean, we, we, we, we got by, like, it wasn't like we were, you know, eating beans and rice every day, but, yeah, there really wasn't anything left over, but I knew how much I was going to make. I knew that I was going to make it regardless, you know, whether I gave a half effort or a whole effort like that money was coming in. And but we think about kind of like getting closer to God and growing our faith. And oftentimes that takes stepping out in faith and doing things that we're scared of because we have to be stretched in order to grow. So like we think about it in terms of like fitness, if we think about it terms of physical fitness, like your muscles don't grow unless you stress them. Your faith doesn't grow unless you stress it. So like there's been so many times in the past few years, know, these decisions that I've made or, you know, kind of the path that God has had me on, where it's just been a real testament and a real period of growth. in my faith that I kind of went eight years while I was in my W-2 not really seeing it. Now there was bits and pieces of it. But you know, when I stepped out and was like, okay, God, like, you're calling me like I have to leave this job. I feel like it's the right thing to do. I feel like that's what you're calling me to do. And at the time, it was like, I need to go like to the solar company. That was 100 % commission job. That was scary. Like really, really scary. There was there was no backup plan. It was just like I this works. Like we're going to try. And that really tested my faith in terms of trusting God with my finances because you know, at the time I was like, yeah, sure. I trust God with my finances. But in reality, you know, I was trusting the company that had been paying me for the last eight years. And then once I left that company, I was like, oh shoot, this is a whole nother level. Now, God, you know, you're like, I need money and I don't know where it's going to come from. Yeah. And especially gets scary as you're like having kids and having to provide. I've been laid off from tech companies. I've been in like web development and project management for most of my career. And I was laid off three times in seven years because I was working startups and it's scary. So that right there kind of goes back to what you said. Like is the nine to five the safest? but I'm going to kind of change the kind of direction here. I want to get your thought on something. In your view, what are some misconceptions about masculinity within the Christian community? Definitely what we talked about earlier that You know being a masculine man or being just being a man in general just means that you're nice you keep your opinions to yourself and you Serve everyone around you without any kind of Expectations now and I want to expand on that a little bit we are called as Christians to serve and But what we have done as men is think that is our job to serve, serve, serve, serve, serve, serve, serve, the point of exhaustion, to the point of not having anything left to give. And that's what I see a lot in Christian men is that they're, they're burnt out, like they're burnt out from serving their families, they're burnt out from serving their church, they're burnt out from serving their employer, because they have this misconception of, I don't matter. I'm just here to serve. And so as long as these people are taken care of, I'm like, I don't matter. Like that's, that's been the common misconception that I see so much. And it's something that I've struggled with personally and coming to grips and like reframing that to the point of you do matter. Like God created you. God said that the world needed one of you and you need to take care of yourself because we get this kind of this, this selfishness twisted up. And we think of selfishness as Christians is like taking care of ourselves. When in reality, like Jesus took for granted that you were going to care for yourself. Think about love your neighbor as you love yourself. That word as, okay. How are you supposed to love your neighbor if you don't love yourself? Most Christian men, most guys are walking around and they don't love themselves. They're not taking care of themselves. They're giving everything that they have, everything that they can possibly scrape up to their families, to their jobs, to their churches, to their friends, to their communities. And there's nothing there. There's nothing left to give. They're not filling their cup back up. They're just scraping the bottom and scraping the bottom and scraping the bottom and thinking they're doing the right things. When in reality, if you would take some time to love yourself and spend some time taking care of yourself. Everyone around you benefits from that. So we think about it and we're like, that's selfish. I can't take care of me. I can't go work out. Like I can't go, you know, have a relaxing day off to recharge. Like my family needs me. It's like, bro, you would show up so much better for the people that you love. If you actually took the time to take care of your needs, because you are important. You matter. You need to take care of yourself. Love your neighbor. as you love yourself. can love the people around you better if you are loving yourself well. Yeah, I absolutely love that. And that's, that's kind of a lesson that I've had to learn in the last year, like dealing with my own struggles is I've had to learn to, you know, even take some time for myself and not give, not that I'm not giving so much to everybody else still, but I've had to, you know, find some hobbies and take some time to like, learn to do things that I really love because I was starting to miss that in life. man, it's so true because and like we are supposed to serve. We're supposed to serve those around us like and as men like we serve by leading those around us by leading our families, by leading our households, by leading our communities in our churches. But man, you can't you can't give for like it's the it's the the phrase of like pouring from an empty cup. You can't pour from an empty cup. And if your cup is empty, you're not giving the people around you your best. You're not giving them what you could be giving them. because you're not taking care of you, you're not filling your cup back up. Exactly. So in these moments where men feel overwhelmed by maybe years of poor habits or shame, what can they do to start small to take these steps to get back on track or get back in line? There's so many directions we can go with this The first thing I would say is look in the mirror and Like tell yourself you love yourself and that sounds kind of woo-woo. That sounds kind of like I'm not doing that but honestly like Look at yourself man. Like when's the last time you looked at you and said dude, I'm proud of you Like it's probably been a minute for most guys like if I'm like thinking back on my own experience That was really hard for me to do not that long ago And so that will be a place to start another place like if that sounds too like if you're like man I'm just not there like I get it. I understand But a really good a really easy place to start and this is why I'm in the business that I'm in is Taking care of your body physically You know an excellent like first step for that like practically speaking would be drinking enough water Drinking enough water every day like that's an easy thing that you can pick up right now tomorrow And you can start tracking like okay. I'm gonna drink 64 ounces of water today Because your body is probably dehydrated the majority of people walk around dehydrated. We've got brain fog They've got headaches. They're exhausted and there's a lot of other factors that play into that but hydration is one that we need to handle first, so You know if a guy's like, I don't know what to do Start taking care of your physical body start with hydration start with drinking enough water every day Get that dialed in make that a habit and then we can start looking at nutrition or then we can start looking at working out but the easiest thing to do to start taking care of yourself is to Take care of your physical body because you can start to see the winds you can see you can see the winds you can feel the winds and It's simple, you know something simple that you can start doing literally right now You don't have to ask anyone's permission. You don't have to have a ton of money to invest in it, but you can start taking care of yourself right now and start to see the effects of that. And once you start to take care of your physical body, that just kind of overflows into your mental capacity, into your emotional capacity. All of those things get better when you start taking care of your physical body. love it. And you mentioned nutrition there. What role does nutrition play in rebuilding confidence and self-respect? domain is huge. talking about it in a form of self respect. Think about think about a car. You fill your car up with gas. You don't pour garbage into your gas tank because your car is not going to run. So now we think about our bodies think about your body as a car. You are filling it full of junk, filling it full of garbage. It is not going to run well. It's not going to operate efficiently. It's not going to run well physically. It's not going to run well mentally, and it's not going to run well emotionally. Like what you eat, what you intake, the things that you put into your body affect all of that stuff. It doesn't just affect how you look. It affects how you feel. It literally affects how you think. Like your gut is your second brain. What you feed your gut literally affects how you think day in and day out, how you think of yourself mentally, how you feel emotionally. All of that is vastly, vastly influenced by your nutrition and what you're intaking into your body. And I can fully attest to this because this is basically what I went through last year. I completely changed my diet. I haven't drank a soda for over a year now. um I'll drink like the, what are they called? The Zevias here and there, like once a month. They don't taste anything like a cold Coke. uh My functional medicine doctor was like, no, you need to change, make some lifestyle changes, especially when it comes to your eating habits. But my body, I figured out my body was totally, was full of inflammation. And I was this close to being diabetic. And just by basically getting rid of, I usually use like an 80-20 rule. I still eat candy and stuff, but we don't really keep it in the house. We use a... course. a substitute like sugar, cook with different flour, eat mostly gluten free within the house. But it basically just I dropped like, I'm gonna toot my own horn here, I dropped like 40 pounds in like a matter of the matter of like three months. But it's it's been a life changer. And I can tell you that it did boost my confidence in myself. Absolutely, man. How about your like your mental clarity and like how you think about yourself day in and day out? It's done. I struggle with I still struggle with like anxiety and depression, but it has done a lot on that front too. I mean, it's. It's helped out quite a bit, but I still have had to have like therapy to help me like figure out, you know, okay, well, when this negative thought is in my mind, how do I push it away? When I go through a dark time like what do I do? But it's. Before if you would have asked me like. Okay well is your mental health related to your gut health and nutrition? I would have said no way but now it's like no it totally is. Absolutely is, yeah. 100%. That's good man, good for you. So I love everything that you're saying. And what are some of the most common mindset struggles that you see in the menu coach? So probably the biggest one is, well, there's two. The biggest one is, you know, what we talked about before. It's like, I don't deserve to do this. And that kind of ties into the second one. The second one is I don't have time to do this. You know, I've got so much going on with my family, so much going on with my business or, you know, my employer or my church or whatever that I don't have time to take care of me. So the biggest mindset shift that we have to do starts with, you know, what we were talking about earlier. Reminding guys that regardless of their family Regardless of their job or what they do for a living or their business or their church that they matter They matter as an individual. They matter as a man. They matter as an image bearer and a son of God Just alone stand alone by themselves. They matter regardless of anything else. So convincing them or Reframing their mindset around that and then also reframing that mindset of like hey, bro. This is going to help you show up better for your family. Like 100 % no questions asked. If you are confident in yourself, if you are filled with energy at the end of the day, because you're exercising, because you're eating the right foods. If you are thinking more clearly, if your brain fog goes away, if you are less tired and garaggy and worn out, you literally show up better for your wife and you show up better for your kids. So yes, you are getting the benefits of this. And also your wife and your kids are going to see a tremendous benefit of this as well. So not only is it benefiting you, but it's benefiting all of those around you, but we have shift that mindset of like, well, I'm already serving my wife and kids and I just don't have time. It's like, no, you can actually serve them 100 times better if you take the time and you make the time to do this. Yeah, I agree. And can I add on a little piece that I've learned? uh One thing that I learned for myself, and this may not be true for everybody, but I had to, I was always a yes person. I had to learn to say no to certain things. Like, I'll use my church and my faith, we get callings and... Most people think, you know, feel obligated to say yes. And I'm not one of those people. I'll flat out say, no, I can't do that right now. So I got this church calling and at the time, you know, I just felt like I was too overwhelmed in home life. I was having some medical problems. So I flat out said, I am sorry, but I can't do this right now. And I had told a coworker that I said no to this church calling. He's like, well, I didn't know you could do that. I said, yeah, man, like you're not obligated to take it. Like you can be truthful and honest and say, I can't do this right now. It's not the right time. Of course man, of course. That's so so important setting up boundaries in our life and like Knowing what our current capacity is whether that's with work whether that's with friends whether that like whatever it is just knowing where you're at as far as like what your current capacity is that day or in that season of life and knowing what is Important knowing what your priorities are and then saying no to the things that aren't as important that do not line up with your priorities or where you are that is so so important and that's one of the things like we see with guys all the time is guys are and out and man like they're they're serving a church they're working a full-time job they're coaching three different soccer teams baseball teams football teams whatever it is their kids are in 15 different sports every weekend like bro say no Like it is okay. You don't, you do not have to say yes to every church serve opportunity. You do not have to say yes to every sport that your kid wants to play. Like it's not good for you. It's not good for your family. It's not good for your kids to not have any margin or any rest or any like where you can just be, just be a family and hang out or have fun or be bored or be lazy. Like we live in this over, this is not a word, but I'm to make it up this over dopaminated world. where like we feel like our brain has to be latched onto something all the time. And I'm guilty of this as well. Like I have a hard time setting that stupid phone down sometimes, but man, it's just like, breathe, man. Jesus lifted his life at three miles an hour. That's the speed of an average man walking. Like he didn't have anything else going on. Like you've got to slow down. Like it is okay to say no. It's okay to say no to your church, to your kids, to your wife. Like It's okay. You're allowed. It's all right. It's good for you. Actually, it's probably it's probably welcomed. It's probably very beneficial and it's probably excellent for everyone in your household. Yeah, I 100 % agree. And I think that's like, with in my marriage is one of the things that we've always been good at for the most part is communication. Like I believe communication is like key to really having a good relationship. But we're both, we're both, you know, to the point where it's like, we can tell each other no and say, no, I can't do that right now. I'm so sorry. and just move on like, okay, well, if you get the chance, can you, you know, please do that? It's like, yep, just not this moment. That's okay. It's fine. We can move on. it's okay. Yeah, 100%. There's nothing wrong with that. Nothing wrong with that at all. I agree. you mentioned the sports stuff and people. I have been seeing statistics lately of how these people in, I wanna necessarily bash the competitive sports, but when kids are doing it from such a young age on, I've read statistics, I can't remember exactly what they are, that these advanced competitive sports are ruining families. I would agree wholeheartedly with that. This is this is this is definitely a controversial topic, like your kids 98 98 parents like dads, if you listen to this, 98 % of your children are not going to make it in professional sports. They need to go to church and they need to spend time with their families downtime, good time quality time. You guys need to have good quality time. with your families, you do not need to go to every stinking sports event out there. Like, the odds of them making it to professional sports are like very, very, very, very small. Sorry to burst your dreams, like sorry to pop the bubble. But it's probably not going to happen. But I can tell you what is 100 % going to happen. They need Jesus, and they need to see you model Jesus in their life. And they need to have good quality time with their parents, because you only get 18 years with them. And then they're off to the races of life. Yeah, and it's like, I feel like, so my wife and I talked about the sports thing. We're like, well, we're not making play sports, but we're not going to let it take up every single weekend because we're not those types of people. Uh, but I look at all the time that it takes up and it's like, you know, this is time that you can teach your kids how to build confidence, teach them more about how faith is important. and just about health and like important things that they need to know in general. Man, that's so true. And it's like, I have no problem with sports whatsoever. think sports are very good. think sports have their place. I think kids need to play them. They just don't need to play them every stinking weekend and every night of the flipping week. I'm right there with you. Another question getting back on the topic of know men and kind of the burnout type of stuff. Why do think so many men see being vulnerable as a weakness? That's an excellent question. I think we have been taught by society, whatever influences we had in our lives growing up, that men weren't supposed to feel their emotions. That we're supposed to just push them down and be strong and be tough and call it good. And there certainly as a man, there certainly is a time to be strong. it is your job to be strong as your job to be the leader of your home and the leader of your household and the leader of your community. And also God gave you emotions and you need to process them. and I think it's so important to have godly men around you that you can process them with. You know, have a very blessed to have several, several godly brothers in my life that I really look up to, that I can call when I'm having a hard day and I can just, Hey bro, like today sucks. Like my mentality is horrible. you know, I'm just having a hard time staying on track, staying focused, wondering why in the heck I'm still doing this. Like, and, processing that and like, I'm just having a hard time and being able to talk through that with them or, know, Hey, bro, I messed up. made a mistake. You know, confessing a sin to another brother like that'll set you free. And I'm saying, Okay, man, like, did you take that to the Lord? yeah. Okay, good. Did you, you know, repent? Maybe it was against my wife. I said against my wife. Did you repent to your wife? Well, no. Okay, well, you need to do that. Okay, cool. So it's not only men that you can process your emotions with. And, you know, just be honest. Like, I don't There's a good friend of mine coined this phrase so I can't take credit for it. But I think men are scared of the word vulnerable because I think like it just sounds like, just don't like the word. But a friend of mine coined this phrase, courageous transparency. So that's the phrase that I try to use because I it sounds more masculine. I think guys like it better. But being courageously transparent and it just ultimately being honest with where you're at. Like we've gotten to this place in society, especially as men where We just don't have these real honest conversations. Like we have these like just surface level, excuse my language, bullshit conversations about just random stuff that is going on in life that just is of no importance when in reality, like we're dying inside. Our marriage is crumbling. We hate our job. Like our kid is having a hard time and we don't know what to do about it. But instead we're talking about the golf game we played last weekend. And don't get wrong, I got nothing wrong with that kind of talk either, but it's like, have the conversations that are important. Have the conversations that actually matter. Be honest with the men around you that you respect and that you love, and tell them actually where you are so you can process that stuff and so you can grow through it together. Instead of just acting like this false bravado, like, oh, I'm good, I have no problems. Sorry, bro. That is bullshit. and you need to actually have an open and honest conversation with yourself and the men around you that you respect and that you love. Yeah, I totally agree and I've seen this in my life too often. But like even growing up, think of like my own family, it's like I didn't really talk openly about the way I felt too much. But I feel like you brought up a good point and that is you need to have people in your life that you can talk openly to. And sometimes, you know. Maybe it's just them listening and other times maybe they're giving advice, but you need to have that trust. Yes, yes. And the one thing that I really want to stress here is you need to have other men in your life that you can have these conversations with. I think it's important to be it's important to be honest with your wife. But men have struggles that women don't have. And if you are only telling your wife about those struggles, You're inadvertently placing burdens on her that she is not prepared to carry She is not built to carry the certain burdens that you carry as a man And you need to have those conversations with other men other men that will hold you accountable other men that will call you up Other men that will actually be there for you so I do want to add that little caveat because I think a lot of times we think that you know when we think about the word vulnerability or honesty We think that we just have to spill our guts to our wives about everything that we're feeling. And man, there's some stuff that's going through your mind and your body that you were meant to handle and you were meant to carry as a man. And she was not meant to carry that burden. And you need to have that conversation with another dude because he was also meant to carry that burden and he can help you through it. Yes, for sure. I love that you added that, because I think that's important to point out. Because there's, I think of one friend in particular that... I'll tell him stuff. And it's not that necessary that I won't tell my wife or won't talk to you about it with my wife, but it's like, you know, I'm having a bad day, I'm struggling with this. But it's like, I know that he's going to talk to me in a different way that my wife won't. of because he understands. Exactly. makes me think of like think of a scenario Say you lose your job. See you get laid off And like it scares you to death and you lose your mind like you're just like I don't know what to do I don't know what's gonna happen. Like I'm scared to death I don't you know, we don't have any money in the bank blah blah blah like you're spiraling you're freaking out Imagine two scenarios imagine one you call your wife and you freak out with your wife and you like you're like, baby I don't know what we're gonna do. We're gonna blah blah blah. Like what is that gonna do to her? gonna stress her out. Yeah, just anxious stress like and now she's trying to figure out she's trying to shoulder the burden now of leadership because she's like, well, my husband's losing it. Like I've got to figure this out now because he just dumped all this on me. Okay, now now we're gonna do another scenario where you still lose it. Like it's okay, you're you're human, you're allowed to do that. But you call a brother, you're like, Hey, bro, I don't know what the heck I'm gonna do like and you lose it with him. And he's like, bro, hear you. I'm so sorry this happened. What are we going to do about it? And now you, can have this conversation with another man about, and you can game plan about what you're going to do, but you can still get everything out that you needed to get out. That's the thing. Like you can still lose your mind. Like you're humid. You're allowed to do that sometimes. Like you can still process through all of that stuff. But now when you go talk to your wife, Hey baby, I lost my job today. It's scary. I'm kind of stressed about it, but I'm going to do this, this, this, and this, and we're going to be okay. Those are two very different conversations. and you... You changed the direction of that conversation because now you have that game plan because you discussed it with somebody else, so... Yeah, yeah. Mm-hmm. Yep. and expecting her to figure out how to fix them. You're still being honest. You're still being just as honest, but you're, you're not dumping your burdens on I absolutely love it. Now question for you personally, how do you keep your own priorities straight? know, faith, family, business, fitness without burning out. Mm. That's a good one. Godly men having other godly men around me. That is that is, man, that's it's just been an unlock for me. I have a really, really, really good group of strong men that, you know, if they see me getting my priorities out of line, they will tell me it'll be very blunt, it'll be very honest. And then they'll help me get right back on track. But you know, it's it's that and then it's just scheduling your day. to honor the priorities that you have and just being diligent in your day-to-day habits in your day-to-day systems. You know, getting in the Word every day, praying every day. I journal every day or I try to every day and I don't do any of that stuff perfectly, but day in and day out, know, those are kind of my, like, I need to spend time with God. I need to spend time in His Word. I need to spend time with Him in prayer. I need to spend time with my wife. I need to spend time with my kids. I need to spend time with my business. Like all of those things are important to me. So scheduling out my day to make sure that my day honors those priorities. And again, I don't do it perfectly. There are days where it's a whole lot of business and not a whole lot of family. And then there's days where it's a whole lot of family and not a whole lot of business. But you're just kind of having that ebb and flow and making sure that the way that you're living your life day to day is aligned with the man that you want to be. And I love that you, I want to point this out. I love that you said that, you know, there's days it's a whole lot of business, not a whole lot of family days where it's a whole lot of family, not a lot of business. I love how you're balancing out that work life schedule that you need to do, like the way that you have to do it. Because I feel like too many times when you're in a nine to five job, like they say, we have a great work life balance. But, but do you really like. I get into some companies and they say that and it's like, no, great work-life balance wouldn't be me. It'd be me just like saying, you know what, I gotta take two hours today without putting any time, you know, on the clock or taking away any time for my week or whatever. Pay time off, I should say. But yeah, I feel like that's important to stress there because I don't feel like most companies really have that. I agree. I agree wholeheartedly. I think it's, I think there's another misconception there too, that everything has to be split equally perfect. I don't think that's the case at all. And I'm kind of learning that as I go, because I'm still, you know, a fairly new business owner. And it's just kind of learning that, you know, there are some days where I just have to work. Like there is work to be done and I have a lot of it and I just have to sit in my office and do the work and that's okay. And then there are other days that I don't have as much work to do and I can spend extra time with my kids and I can spend extra time with my wife. Like this past Monday, I had a call get canceled. I was supposed to have a call Monday morning and it got canceled and my wife and I were able to go on an impromptu date. Like that's so cool. Like I didn't know that was going to happen, but we were able to kind of take advantage of that time.. it's just like the ebbs and flow of life and you know, setting up your calendar as best you can to make sure that it ebbs and flows. But this misconception of work life balance means everything is perfect 50 50. You know, I think we need to throw that in the trash can as well because there's going to be seasons of life where you just need to work. I needed to work a lot. And then there's seasons of life where you get to spend a lot of time with your family. So I think it's just important that we recognize those seasons and it's important that, know, we just We make sure that we have our priorities in the right Very, very true. How can conversations like this one help shift the narrative around men's mental health? so good. I think guys just being honest with themselves, being honest with where they are being honest with why they do the things that they do being honest with conversations that you have with the men around you that you respect that you love. You know, the the courageousness it takes to be courageously transparent. Like, guys, nobody is benefiting from you bottling up all of your emotions inside. and just holding them there. Like literally no one, not you, not your family, not anyone is benefiting from that. So it's just that misconception of like, I'm a man. have to keep all this to myself. No, you don't bro. Like you were not to, you were not meant to go through this life and carry these burdens alone. So find some guys like find a brother for one, two, three, it doesn't matter, but find someone that you can talk to you, find someone that you can confide in and stop thinking that you have to fight these battles alone. Like the lone wolf agenda, it doesn't work. It never has, it never will. It just doesn't work. Yeah, it's very true. And it took me a long time to realize like, you know, I've struggled. I've mentioned that I've had medical problems with those medical problems, mental health problems found their way in. But it took me a long time to admit that I had mental health problems and that I needed to learn how to be vulnerable. But once I did, and I've been more open about it, it's like a rock off my shoulders, like a huge burden released. so true there's a there was a time Travis and this was Pretty soon after I left my w-2 I left my w-2 in September. We had our second son in November And this started happening probably December January after that But I went through a period probably a three-month period of time where I'm just going to say it was I was depressed. I w was never diagnosed or anything like that. But, um, I just did not like life in any way, or form. I had left my job. I didn't know anything other than going to work for someone, someone telling me what time I needed to be there, what I was supposed to do, how much money I was going to make. And I was entering into the season of I know what the heck I was supposed to be doing. I wasn't doing the solar stuff anymore. I knew that I had to do something to make money for my family. I didn't know if that was supposed to be a job. I didn't know if that was supposed to be a business. I didn't know what it was supposed to be. I had just drained my 401k because we needed money to survive. So, you know, I felt like a literal failure for draining my retirement money. I was, you know, 29 years old, but it's like, You know, was taught that you need to save for retirement. That's the safest thing you're supposed to do. So here I am not working, you know, feeling like an absolute failure because I'm not working, because work has, you know, just been a big part of my identity for a very long time and work is good and managed to work. but dude, there were so many feelings and I just, I just didn't know what to do and I didn't know how to handle it. And you know, we had a newborn, so I wasn't getting any sleep. So that really wasn't helpful, but if I didn't have guys to talk to during that time. I don't know what I would have done man. Like it was just really hard and I just didn't know what to do. And thankfully I had men that I could call and just, it was the same conversation over and over and over again. Same thing. It was like, bro, this is how I'm This is how I'm feeling the next day. This is how I'm feeling the next day. how I'm feeling the next day. And just constant grace from them. Um, just powerful, powerful stuff. But man, I, yeah, it's don't do do not try to go through it alone. Nobody benefits and no one that cares about you wants you to go through it alone. They genuinely want to just be a listening ear or help you through it because as men we want to help one another. We want to serve each other. It's literally what we're designed to do and so if you're keeping to yourself thinking that you're trying to not be a burden to another man you're actually robbing him of being able to share his gifts with you. that God gave him. And it's like, to me, somebody might be waiting for that conversation to have that conversation. Because, yeah. What if that guy that you're getting ready to call had a period in his life like that? One of my one of my good friends that I was able to talk through during this time. He shared with me that he had went through a pretty serious dark depressive time in his life. I had no idea about that or about that he did that that he went through that. And the same thing happened to me. One of my good friends, like from way back in the day, early college years, like I'd lost contact with this guy for a while. And then, you know, I just felt like I'm to start reaching out to him because like he doesn't have very many like people in his life, but I've always, you know, been in contact with him a little bit. But I found out that he had some very Suic... depressive suicidal moments and almost died and I was like dude like why could I why did I not know this before like I would have been there for you you had nobody but now it's like I I check up on him he checks up on me and like I don't see him very much just because our lives are in different spots but like I he's like my concert going buddy so it's the one thing that we do go do together so That's awesome. But that brings up another point though, Travis about like check in on your bros. Just check in on your dudes. Cause you know, when you're in, mean, you know what Travis, like when you're in those times, when you're in that dark, dark spot, like you're not thinking clearly, you're not thinking clearly. So if you don't have somebody like, you know, we can tell you like call someone, call someone, call someone, call someone. Like we want you here, whatever it is, whatever you're going through, like we want you here, call somebody. but You don't think clearly during this time, so you need to check on your check on your breasts. and not only that, but maybe I've come from the other side of this too, where maybe if you're not in the mode to call them, it's good for them to, you know, have preview like trying to think of how to say this. Say like I Sean, say I called you up and said, you know what, man, I'm having a rough time. going through this, you know, very depressed right now. And like, you don't hear from me in like a week or something. So that might give you the opportunity to turn around and call me up and say, you know what, Travis, how are you doing? I remember having this conversation. I want to follow up with you. Yep. Yeah, if we know that you're actually having a hard time and you don't even have to, man, you don't even have to get into details. It's important for you to get into the details and you should do that. But if you, if you like listening to us now and you're like, I'm not, I'm not ready for that. Cool. Text someone and tell them that you're having a hard time. That's it. Just tell them, Hey, I'm really struggling with this right now. Okay, man. Now can check on you. it's, and sometimes it's like the only thing we can do because it's too hard to sit there and think about texting out line by line, you know, what we're struggling with. Yes, yes, yes, yes. I do that with a friend of mine now. Sometimes I'll text him or he'll text me and he's like, my mentality is in the toilet today. Like, just tell him, like, hey, you know, I'm not expecting you to do anything about it, but I'm just letting you know. He's like, all right, bro, I love you, I'm praying for you. You know, just some encouragement. Yep, and like this friend that I just recently mentioned, I'll text him sometimes like, hey man, how's it going? I haven't heard from you in a few weeks. Like how are things? And his response will be, you know what? Life is shit right now. I don't want to be here. And that's all he needed to get out. And I'll just reply with like, just so you know, I'm always at your corner. I'm here for you. If you need help with anything, let me know. I'll drive up to you. Yeah, bro, just to know that somebody is there and just to get it off his chest. Yeah, it's so powerful. It's so important. It's so much easier and more simple than we make it out to be. Yes, it really is. I have honestly just one last question here for you. What legacy? I want to start off by saying I apologize if you hear my kids screaming in the background. It's all good man, don't ever apologize for the kiddos. I have my one my three year old here and my wife's not around so he's running loose downstairs. hope he's not starting fires or anything. What legacy do you hope to leave through McManus strength and nutrition and how do you want men to remember your message? Hmm. I want guys to show up for themselves again. I want guys to show up as their best self for their families. I want them to be proud of them when they look in the mirror. I want them to know that they matter. I want them to know that they're worth taking care of. That's the message that I want to leave in the legacy that I want to leave. want... I men to be strong. I want men to feel good about themselves. I want them to be strong in their convictions. I want them to follow Christ with boldness. But yeah, I just want them to know that they matter and they're worth taking care of and that, you know, as their best self, their family gets the benefit of them being their best self. absolutely love it. Where can people find you? All over the social medias Instagram, TikTok and X at the Sean McManus and then good old Facebook at Sean McManus. Awesome. And I'll be sure to post links to that in the show notes. And last thing here, I feel like we discussed a lot of things. Is there anything that you'd like to bring up that we did not discuss? think we covered it pretty well. would say if there's one thing I could bring up, would just be to start taking care of yourself. Like you deserve that. You're worth that. Whatever that looks like for you. Maybe it's nutrition, maybe it's exercise. You know, maybe it's maybe it's taking a nap and going to bed earlier. Like whatever that looks like. Show up for you and in turn you will show up better for those around you. Very well said. Well, Sean, thank you so much for spending an hour with me. It's been a pleasure. really admire what you're doing and how you're on this mission to help out men and their struggles. I think it's great. Travis, thank you, I'm glad that we were able to have this conversation and I appreciate you having me on. My pleasure is all mine and same to you. Thanks again for listening. The best thing you can do for us is to share this podcast. You can find us on all major podcast platforms, Spotify, Apple, you name it, it's there. Thanks again. Until next time.